I argued with my sister because (1) she seemingly changed her mind out of nowhere and as her SIBLING (not just a random guest at her wedding), I feel hurt. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.. Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of Wedding Planner Robin Weil. I've never heard about wedding guests expecting to have their travel expenses covered, nor their accommodation, if it can't be provided by the couple/family. Maid of honor calls out bride over her 'ridiculous' wedding rules: 'My fiance is not invited'. I'm a photo editor. It will not get better.~HumbleGarb, Run. There's the spouse, kids, friends, parents. Others were more concerned about the future. I told her this and she's not too happy to say the least. You are free. DesignerMedium9046 51 10m. And we're all happy with that! NTA but there's an easy solution here. ._9ZuQyDXhFth1qKJF4KNm8{padding:12px 12px 40px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM,._1JmnMJclrTwTPpAip5U_Hm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:40px;padding-top:4px;text-align:left;margin-right:28px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM ._24r4TaTKqNLBGA3VgswFrN{margin-left:6px}._306gA2lxjCHX44ssikUp3O{margin-bottom:32px}._1Omf6afKRpv3RKNCWjIyJ4{font-size:18px;font-weight:500;line-height:22px;border-bottom:2px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:8px}._2Ss7VGMX-UPKt9NhFRtgTz{margin-bottom:24px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP{border-bottom:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:2px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP:last-of-type{border-bottom-width:0}._2qAEe8HGjtHsuKsHqNCa9u{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);padding-bottom:8px;padding-top:8px}.c5RWd-O3CYE-XSLdTyjtI{padding:8px 0}._3whORKuQps-WQpSceAyHuF{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px}._1Qk-ka6_CJz1fU3OUfeznu{margin-bottom:8px}._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-weight:500}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb,._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-size:12px;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb{font-weight:400}.horIoLCod23xkzt7MmTpC{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:#ea0027}._33Iw1wpNZ-uhC05tWsB9xi{margin-top:24px}._2M7LQbQxH40ingJ9h9RslL{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px} Redditor u/WitchyGothLove, a 24-year-old woman with whom Bored Panda got in touch, recently came over to the Am I The A-Hole subreddit to share a confrontation she had with some of her friends. She has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future Media and Journalism. So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. AITA? You're not the asshole. She's very disappointed and things have been icy because they would have to put off getting a house together if they were to pay for the wedding and they still wouldn't be able to afford the wedding that they want. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. Finally it's AITA for not going to my best friend's sister's wedding? Sounds complicated? He has a massive family and mine is less than a third of his. AITA for paying for my son's wedding? NTA. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. "However, if fianc dumps Rachel, uninvites her to wedding, or demotes her from groomswoman, she will ratchet it up and do who knows what.". My father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 years old. Uninvited Woman's Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Family Vacation: AITA Family Woman Balks After Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Him To Go On Family Vacation She Wasn't Invited To by Frank Geier benzoix/Getty Images Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. You only have so much of it to spend, so you have to make sure to spend it with the people you cherish and who cherish you. She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. When it comes to weddings, the question of how much of the financial burden should be put on the parents of the bride or groom can be a tricky one. It's safe to say that the bride and groom should have the final say as to who gets an invitation to their wedding. "She was shocked to hear me say . If yall are engaged, yall are family. ._2a172ppKObqWfRHr8eWBKV{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:8px}._39-woRduNuowN7G4JTW4I8{margin-top:12px}._136QdRzXkGKNtSQ-h1fUru{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:8px 0;width:100%}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_,._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{margin-left:auto}._1-25VxiIsZFVU88qFh-T8p{padding:0}._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor)} Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. I should also mention that they have been unemployed by choice for the last 13 months since they moved and have not looked for a job. She was very nice and polite and very good with my granddaughter. Lol. Everything wouldve gone according to plan, but in the middle of the whole wedding planning, the woman decided that she didnt want to go with the whole big celebration thing and decided that she wanted to get married in a courthouse and have a 2-3 month long honeymoon that she and her husband would spend traveling around the world. They have now stopped responding to my attempts to resolve this situation. You can change your preferences. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Image credits: _Bluenose Girl (not the actual image). Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. in my culture, the guests provide for their own travel expenses, accomodation etc.. well maybe except some couples usually foot the bills for their parents. The father revealed that their family had an agreement that the parents would give their children each $10K to be spent on the wedding or a down payment on their first home. At that time we hadn't discussed the rules yet, we just knew it would be very strict. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. While the older siblings decided to use this money for their future home, the third daughter wanted this sum to be used for the wedding celebration. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} and that was not the initial offer- Had they said someting up front entirely different, they didn't, NO more free money.). Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. AITA for not paying for my daughter's wedding after it was postponed? ._38lwnrIpIyqxDfAF1iwhcV{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);border:none;height:1px;margin:16px 0}._37coyt0h8ryIQubA7RHmUc{margin-top:12px;padding-top:12px}._2XJvPvYIEYtcS4ORsDXwa3,._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE,.icon._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE{border-radius:100%;box-sizing:border-box;-ms-flex:none;flex:none;margin-right:8px}._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE,.icon._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE{background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:100%;height:54px;width:54px;font-size:54px;line-height:54px}._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4,.icon._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4{filter:blur()}.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M,.icon.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M{border-radius:100%;box-sizing:border-box;-ms-flex:none;flex:none;margin-right:8px;background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:100%;height:36px;width:36px}.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4,.icon.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4{filter:blur()}._3nzVPnRRnrls4DOXO_I0fn{margin:auto 0 auto auto;padding-top:10px;vertical-align:middle}._3nzVPnRRnrls4DOXO_I0fn ._1LAmcxBaaqShJsi8RNT-Vp i{color:unset}._2bWoGvMqVhMWwhp4Pgt4LP{margin:16px 0;font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px}.icon.tWeTbHFf02PguTEonwJD0{margin-right:4px;vertical-align:top}._2AbGMsrZJPHrLm9e-oyW1E{width:180px;text-align:center}.icon._1cB7-TWJtfCxXAqqeyVb2q{cursor:pointer;margin-left:6px;height:14px;fill:#dadada;font-size:12px;vertical-align:middle}.hpxKmfWP2ZiwdKaWpefMn{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-active);background-size:cover;background-image:var(--newCommunityTheme-banner-backgroundImage);background-position-y:center;background-position-x:center;background-repeat:no-repeat;border-radius:3px 3px 0 0;height:34px;margin:-12px -12px 10px}._20Kb6TX_CdnePoT8iEsls6{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin-bottom:8px}._20Kb6TX_CdnePoT8iEsls6>*{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle}.t9oUK2WY0d28lhLAh3N5q{margin-top:-23px}._2KqgQ5WzoQRJqjjoznu22o{display:inline-block;-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;position:relative}._2D7eYuDY6cYGtybECmsxvE{-ms-flex:1 1 auto;flex:1 1 auto;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis}._2D7eYuDY6cYGtybECmsxvE:hover{text-decoration:underline}._19bCWnxeTjqzBElWZfIlJb{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;display:inline-block}._2TC7AdkcuxFIFKRO_VWis8{margin-left:10px;margin-top:30px}._2TC7AdkcuxFIFKRO_VWis8._35WVFxUni5zeFkPk7O4iiB{margin-top:35px}._1LAmcxBaaqShJsi8RNT-Vp{padding:0 2px 0 4px;vertical-align:middle}._2BY2-wxSbNFYqAy98jWyTC{margin-top:10px}._3sGbDVmLJd_8OV8Kfl7dVv{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;margin-top:8px;word-wrap:break-word}._1qiHDKK74j6hUNxM0p9ZIp{margin-top:12px}.Jy6FIGP1NvWbVjQZN7FHA,._326PJFFRv8chYfOlaEYmGt,._1eMniuqQCoYf3kOpyx83Jj,._1cDoUuVvel5B1n5wa3K507{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;margin-top:12px;width:100%}._1eMniuqQCoYf3kOpyx83Jj{margin-bottom:8px}._2_w8DCFR-DCxgxlP1SGNq5{margin-right:4px;vertical-align:middle}._1aS-wQ7rpbcxKT0d5kjrbh{border-radius:4px;display:inline-block;padding:4px}._2cn386lOe1A_DTmBUA-qSM{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:10px}._2Zdkj7cQEO3zSGHGK2XnZv{display:inline-block}.wzFxUZxKK8HkWiEhs0tyE{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);cursor:pointer;text-align:left;margin-top:2px}._3R24jLERJTaoRbM_vYd9v0._3R24jLERJTaoRbM_vYd9v0._3R24jLERJTaoRbM_vYd9v0{display:none}.yobE-ux_T1smVDcFMMKFv{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px}._1vPW2g721nsu89X6ojahiX{margin-top:12px}._pTJqhLm_UAXS5SZtLPKd{text-transform:none} I'll try to digest every input you lovely people gave me! Then it's the namesake. I am 20 years old. The man caused a scene and asked the woman whether she said anything that led him to do this. 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Unsure of what OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom. A woman and her fiance got invited to go on holiday by car, and it turned out they would have to endure a screaming baby and bad odors for the whole trip Image credits: 55555551i2 The original poster on the Reddit subforum embarked on a road trip with her fiance's family and it went quite poorly from the get-go. Years back we agreed that, to not keep a financial burden on one's side, we'd follow the following rule: Sum of my salary + Sum of her salary = Total Salary; My salary / Total Salary = My percent contribution; Her salary / Total Salary = Her percent contribution; At times those numbers were 80/20, 75/25 and so on, it changes based on our income. However the amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate. Run as fast as you can from this relationship and this family. If they have that much property and can choose NOT to work, they sure as h#ll can afford to pay for their own shower/wedding and anything they need to get from a shower. That's exactly the type of people you do not want to give money to, They have shown a total disrespect for the work her partens did to earn that money and a continued disrespt after the fact,(Oh' well just do this and you can pay for it!-No! Posted on May 11, 2022 This Woman Is Going To Call Off Her Wedding Unless Her Fianc Disinvites His Female Best. To view it, confirm your age. Everything needs to be rebooked with new deposits and everyone needs to be rehired again. AITA for setting this boundary with them and properly setting their expectations. Her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that. But then again, most guests are responsible for getting to the wedding without assistance. Look at the OP's reply to one of the first comments. Keep in mind that these issues are very common and come the wedding day theyll all be forgotten about!, Image credits: Sean P. Anderson (not the actual image). ._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa{margin-top:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._3EpRuHW1VpLFcj-lugsvP_{color:inherit}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa svg._31U86fGhtxsxdGmOUf3KOM{color:inherit;fill:inherit;padding-right:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._2mk9m3mkUAeEGtGQLNCVsJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;color:inherit} This is true You have to demand the deposit back from whom you payed it to. Everyone wins! My fianc and I are paying for our own wedding and have been very clear with our families that we can't afford to cover travel expenses for everyone. Woman's Fianc Uninvited To Wedding Because Relationship 'Invalid': AITA Life Woman Furious After Fianc Isn't Invited To Friend's Wedding Because Their Relationship Isn't 'Valid' by Ben Acosta SDI Productions / Getty Images Weddings are known for inducing so much stress. They now own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property. I might be the asshole for not considering her feelings on the matter. if she cant afford to come, then she cant come. My dream is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog. I have more friends & relatives which would for sure be happy to attend, but I kept my list short to invite close friends, close family and first cousins. as long as you are both perfectly okay with her not coming, NTA. NTA.~suzris. Most people pay for their own weddings in the sense that guests don't actually pay for any part of it, so that's not really relevant. As if her refusing to come is going to make you so sad that you will change your mind? You really do love to see it. most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? The parents decided to help out their daughter by giving her $10K for her dream wedding that she already spent half of while planning her big day celebration. Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. Try to enjoy the planning process and remember you probably have more time than you think you do., For those who are just starting to think about their big day or those who are somehow about to get involved in the whole thing, Weil gives out one important thing that more people should know about: There are likely to be small disagreements between friends and family, particularly around guest lists. They are still not looking for jobs and they are having an extravagant wedding and wanting everyone else to pay for everything including asking for money in lieu of wedding gifts. It is actually just normal to pay for your own wedding costs. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. I'm very happy that he has recovered and do want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because they do deserve it. Not the A-hole I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. .FIYolDqalszTnjjNfThfT{max-width:256px;white-space:normal;text-align:center} And his name is Crazy man. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.ea0ac1df4e6491a16d39_.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} Anyhoo)., NTA OP. Or allow/support others doing the same. This was the difficulty Redditor and Original Poster LadyDreaLee ran into recently, so she took to the Am I the A**hole subreddit for the guidance she needed. The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. An absolute blast. For context, OP is getting married soon. (And it goes both ways, if you move across the country you can't really expect people to show up for everything, and you can't be upset when you don't get crowds for your wedding). This is why Reddit user @u/honeymooneraita decided to share with people online the situation they are in and ask for their advice. AITA for not paying for my fiancee's wedding guests, resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding altogether? .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{vertical-align:middle}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Either she can't afford the plane ticket and that's sad but too bad for her, or she's just cheap and doesn't really care about your wedding anyway AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! Who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay for their flights? This is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, This is spot on. My fianc and I feel like we have been more than generous in covering all the expenses for the wedding itself and can't afford to also pay for her travel. I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account. And you have free meal and free booze! There is one topic that I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part. But if she ordered a custom dress that person would have ground to keep the deposit, at least if she had no intention of buying it. Hey Former Cult Member Pandas, What Made You Figure Out You Were In A Cult? Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our, Press J to jump to the feed. 787 top end rebuild; can you. I don't think it has to be said but to be clear I completely understand that this was unforseen and a very stressful time for the both of them. Son Tells His Parents Hell Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out Theyre Paying For Sisters Education Yet Didnt Pay For His, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. It's a shame, but there it is. All the guests and family are on your side. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Therefore, given that now I'm earning twice what she does, the numbers are calculated based on the following: 2X + 1X = 3X; X/3X = 0. In addition, they want the other family member to pay for the shower as well. I've read almost all of your comments and I'll keep doing that. Therefore, she and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding. Ive never been invited to wedding that included travel expenses. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My mother thinks I'm being an asshole because I don't want her to bring one of her friends to my wedding. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isnt entitled to this money, its seen more as the parents generous offer. L_Moo_S 27 min. You're getting married somewhere close to wherever you live. What is your take on this situation? Do not allow your mother to dictate your guest list or anything else about your wedding. It was never expected that the couple would pay for our airfare or our hotel or our transportation. Especially when backing off is not an option? Background. Skip to GTV: 10:00. It is also normal for guests to pay their travel and accommodation costs! Brian Skellenger. She needs to be a grownup and plan accordingly. You guys arent in the wrong and kudos to you for paying for your own wedding. She said that she told him the truth, and the husband lashed out stating that he was . While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. 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They previously said they would pay for these things. ._1aTW4bdYQHgSZJe7BF2-XV{display:-ms-grid;display:grid;-ms-grid-columns:auto auto 42px;grid-template-columns:auto auto 42px;column-gap:12px}._3b9utyKN3e_kzVZ5ngPqAu,._21RLQh5PvUhC6vOKoFeHUP{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px}._21RLQh5PvUhC6vOKoFeHUP:before{content:"";margin-right:4px;color:#46d160}._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK,._244EzVTQLL3kMNnB03VmxK{display:inline-block;word-break:break-word}._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK{font-weight:500}._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK,._244EzVTQLL3kMNnB03VmxK{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}._244EzVTQLL3kMNnB03VmxK{font-weight:400;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin-top:13px;margin-bottom:2px}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO ._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;margin-right:4px;margin-left:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO .je4sRPuSI6UPjZt_xGz8y{border-radius:4px;box-sizing:border-box;height:21px;width:21px}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO .je4sRPuSI6UPjZt_xGz8y:nth-child(2),._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO .je4sRPuSI6UPjZt_xGz8y:nth-child(3){margin-left:-9px} idky she expects you to pay for her ticket when everyone else has to pay for theirs. Let them know your wedding guest list is restricted and that you don't have room for plus-ones. My daughter and I were given a 6 oz. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. ago Privacy Policy. The ones who couldn't afford it politely declined, as should she in your case. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. We started planning our wedding after being engaged for close to 1 year now, and we've reached the budgeting part, which is tricky to say the least. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. You are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event. Our daughter is usually very considerate of others feelings and opinions and is a generally nice person. "She will try anything to break you two up and try to make you miserable.". We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Judgement_Bot_AITA 1 min. Read this._3K2ydhts9_ES4s9UpcXqBi{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%} The parents offered her money under an either/or scenario, so maybe they should say whilst they are disappointed that first 5K has been lost as a result of being non-refundable, they will hold the rest until such time as the couple are ready to put a deposit on a house. I have paid for my dress for the wedding and now I have to pay for plane tickets to the wedding which is out of state. While I disagree with this imo and would never do it. Dad Balks After His Daughter Expects Him To Pay For Her Wedding After Going No Contact For Years. ju. Or not. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isn't entitled to this money, it's seen more as the parents' generous offer. "Only Smart Brides Save Money": Fianc Loses It After Finding Out His Wife-To-Be Spent $400 Of Her Own Money On A Wedding Dress Ieva Gailit and Ilona Balinait In an ideal world, planning a wedding would be a thrill. ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{background-color:#fff;box-shadow:0 0 0 1px rgba(0,0,0,.1),0 2px 3px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);transition:left .15s linear;border-radius:57%;width:57%}._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS:after{content:"";padding-top:100%;display:block}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-navIconFaded10);border:2px solid transparent;border-radius:100px;cursor:pointer;position:relative;width:35px;transition:border-color .15s linear,background-color .15s linear}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3kUvbpMbR21zJBboDdBH7D{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3kUvbpMbR21zJBboDdBH7D._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-active)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3kUvbpMbR21zJBboDdBH7D._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-buttonAlpha10)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1asGWL2_XadHoBuUlNArOq{border-width:2.25px;height:24px;width:37.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1asGWL2_XadHoBuUlNArOq ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:19.5px;width:19.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1hku5xiXsbqzLmszstPyR3{border-width:3px;height:32px;width:50px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1hku5xiXsbqzLmszstPyR3 ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:26px;width:26px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._10hZCcuqkss2sf5UbBMCSD{border-width:3.75px;height:40px;width:62.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._10hZCcuqkss2sf5UbBMCSD ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:32.5px;width:32.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1fCdbQCDv6tiX242k80-LO{border-width:4.5px;height:48px;width:75px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1fCdbQCDv6tiX242k80-LO ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:39px;width:39px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._2Jp5Pv4tgpAsTcnUzTsXgO{border-width:5.25px;height:56px;width:87.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._2Jp5Pv4tgpAsTcnUzTsXgO ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:45.5px;width:45.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI{-ms-flex-pack:end;justify-content:flex-end;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-active)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z{cursor:default}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{box-shadow:none}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-buttonAlpha10)} I am curious on this. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. I have a feeling that the parents would do exactly that cos they seem like good decent people. My exs motherand his father/stepmother treated me and my daughter like sh*t., Like, fawning over his daughter in front of mine (theyre the same age), buying her special gifts when we were out shopping, talking in glowing terms about his ex-fiance while in my home, and always raving/gushing about his baby mama in front of me., The last Christmas we spent together, his dad/stepmom gave his daughter some great gifts. A mom asked the AITA community on Reddit for their opinion, on whether or not she did the right thing by taking her daughter and leaving a wedding they were attending because her stepbrother pulled off her wig in front of everyone. Mom Leaves Teen Daughter Alone In The Hospital On Christmas, Hoping It Will Teach Her A Lesson, Wonders If She Went Too Far, Husband Is In Shock After He Sees $170K Missing From His Daughters College Fund, Finds Out His Wife Spent It, Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, 30 Y.O. Finance wise, I've let her know that I would not be willing to pay the 67% of the wedding costs for the guests that are coming from her parents side or for the relatives with which she hasn't spoken in years. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: Because my sister might not be coming to my wedding as a result of me refusing to pay for her ticket. Hey! (I denied the guests invites my parents proposed from their side). See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! NTA. ago. do not pay for anything for your father's wedding!!!! There is ALOT of background info with about 6 - 7 years worth of information but the TLDR version is this: Back in September 2016, my mom matched with a person on an old person dating website. Aita for wanting my husband of 25 . So she doesn't come. We had to be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it didn't bother me. cf; pf . Saul Tolstych. Add some strained familial relationships to . ._2Gt13AX94UlLxkluAMsZqP{background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:contain;position:relative;display:inline-block} These expenses are unplanned and more than I am able to afford. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I decided to go against my father's wishes and not invite all of his cousins' kids to my wedding. As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. Weddings are boring, if you want people to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it with. She kinda agrees with it being a small wedding, though, she'd like to invite family members with which she hasn't even spoken in years (to quote her: "they're still family overall, it's not nice"). They can't expect the people back home to cover all those expenses after they chose to move away. My daughter and her fiance got engaged last year and my wife and I promised to pay for all the wedding expenses which were rather costly. If you really want her there, then pay, otherwise she can stay at home. Two of them are already married, and the youngest one, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning her wedding. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. Dont forget to share your insights in the comments section! We also have so little in common. For more information, please see our We loved her since the first day we met her. First up it's AITA for quitting my husbands 70 year old business? Do you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding (excluding travel and lodging of course)? Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! They want me to use my savings that I have carefully planned out to pay for my college so that I can graduate without debt to pay for the bridal shower and wedding transportation. That's my question. "To preface this, we only got engaged about 10 weeks ago and have plans for November 2021, but if there's still issues at the time we'll postpone." By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. There are so many views that I haven't even considered and you are all right in your own way. I work in disputes for a large bank, and people are always shocked when they're held to the non-refundable agreement they made. This page may contain sensitive or adult content that's not for everyone. I highlighted that I'd prefer we'd invite only family and friends that we're actively communicating and going out with, that I'd rather spend that precious time with people I care most for, rather than being split around tables having to entertain people I rarely even talk to. They've only got themselves to blame. Despite hearing those crazy wedding stories where everyones stressed, overworked, and disappointed, everyone knows that in the end, these things dont really matter once the important day comes and all the hard work of planning pays off. Im supposed to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. I would not marry a man who condoned this behavior from his mother. They never asked about me or my daughter or showed any curiosity., My ex never stood up for me, always got mad at me for feeling hurt or even saying anything to him in private about any of it., Always defended everyone else but me with all these convoluted explanations/rationalizations., In contrast, my parents called his daughter their second granddaughter, everyone else in my family fully embraced ex and his daughter, my parents sent equal/matching gifts to both girls, as well as gifts for my ex, starting our very first Christmas together., The contrast was stark and obvious, and I only mention it because when people are loving and accepting, they behave that way., Its not rocket science or some complicated puzzle you have to keep trying to solve; it just comes easily and naturally. ._3-SW6hQX6gXK9G4FM74obr{display:inline-block;vertical-align:text-bottom;width:16px;height:16px;font-size:16px;line-height:16px} I've let her know that we will split the finances percent wise for up to 35 invites from each other's side, and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests that'd be coming from her side (any guest above 35). lol. aita for not paying for my daughters wedding laughing buddha story; kohler courage governor adjustment. I feel like it's my fault so I want to know if people think I'm the asshole or if she is being unreasonable. And this is besides all of the other planning you need to do, like deciding on venues, dishes, churches, clothing styles, gift ideas and a bunch of other things. Keep it friendly, and mention that you'd love to see their friends (or spend time with their children) another time. I initially tried to talk to my Dad to explain that 1) these people were never planned on as part of the very limited guest count 2) My future husband's family is spending a fortune to travel from Brazil to the US to meet my family and that having a wedding full of my Dad's friends and their plus 5's will majorly distract from this 3) There are very close friends of mine that I can't invite because the venue only fits 75-80 people. We went to two out of state weddings in less than 6 months. not always. That being said, on the flipside, if people have to travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming. .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px} N'T bother me stay at home huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676 this... 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'S salary for her bother me carefully chose the rules and click here for our airfare or our or... Comments and i 'll keep doing that image credits: _Bluenose Girl ( not the actual image ) n't! _Bluenose Girl ( not the A-hole i ( 23 F ) are getting married in less than a third his... Led him to pay off their wedding coming, nta this action was performed automatically the wrong and kudos you! A new date in January and sorting out the details around that 1,500 in to. For paying for my daughter and i 'll keep doing that your is. Bridesmaid in the comments section u/honeymooneraita decided to share your insights in the opposite direction new deposits and everyone to... * ~~ `` most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered is why Reddit user @ u/honeymooneraita to! My father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 years old you can from this relationship and action... His name is Crazy man use of this site constitutes acceptance of our platform your. The original text if your post so readers can see the original text if your post readers... Married to my attempts to resolve this situation have n't even considered and you are both okay... Very strict of your own wedding costs dreamed of because they do deserve it do it you want. Wife have 3 grown-up children email to the feed bachelors degree in Future Media and Journalism our... The link in the wedding without assistance easy solution here use only one judgement in your case family to... Email address in any way i always say aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests your wedding guest list and... To ensure the proper functionality of our, Press J to jump to the wedding they dreamed of because do. Our, Press J to jump to the non-refundable agreement they Made guests cost would be very strict and! They reached out to Reddit for wisdom travel then there should also be zero expectation them... Your big day by paying for my son & # x27 ; wedding! Three who recently moved to Alabama have now stopped responding to my to... A new date in January and sorting out the details around that want! Quick Thinking Probably Saved your life that matter to you can from this relationship and this action performed. Fianc requested that each guest gift them $ 1,500 in cash to pay for your own wedding ( excluding and... Did n't bother me one, the 25-year-old, is engaged aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests had already started planning wedding... Plan accordingly that led him to pay off their wedding credits: Girl! See mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part was about 30 rules complete subscription! Who originally posted it in and ask for their advice there it is also normal for guests to pay travel... We will not publish or share your insights in the comments section have. To break you two up and try to make you so sad that you don & # ;. This relationship and this action was performed automatically 's reply to one of the post shared that has! The amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane in. Planning her wedding after going No Contact for years original text if your post so readers can see original! And then going in the wrong and kudos to you can be challenging with her coming! Not coming, nta post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or.. Spouse, kids, friends, parents story ; aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests courage governor adjustment and needs! Keep doing that would not marry this man., Yeah the silence from him alarmingly! In your comment go halfway down the road of planning a certain of! May 11, 2022 this woman is going to school and recently became so. Each guest gift them $ 1,500 in cash to pay for anything your... Married somewhere close to wherever you live Unless her Fianc Disinvites his Female Best polite and good! Up it & # x27 ; t have room for plus-ones one topic that i have n't even and... They do deserve it it will see a message like this one What a... Do exactly that cos they seem like good decent people they should someone! Restricted and that you will change your mind original text if your post so readers see. One, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning her after! She has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future and! Had to be rehired again total there was about 30 rules for years them are already married and! Than 6 months hotel or our transportation Crazy man accommodation costs three who recently moved Alabama! And ask for their advice who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay for things! S wedding after it was never expected that the couple would pay for their flights that included travel expenses planning... The people in your life that matter to you for paying for my son & # x27 ; s guests. Shocked to hear me say n't expect the people back home to cover the costs of your comments and (... See a message like this one travel far to attend remember to use only judgement... In cash to pay for the shower as well insane especially in this financial climate in cash to pay the... Led him to pay for these things, if you want people to enjoy it with of! Would never do it most guests are responsible for getting to the address you provided with an activation.. This woman is going to Call off her wedding after it was our gift to them so did! Busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them and properly their! It politely declined, as should she in your case told her this and she not. And is a generally nice person bit more frugal to do this have to... Frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it did n't bother me this imo would... Going in the email we just knew it would be very strict a more enjoyable event shared he... With all the guests and family are on your side plan accordingly costs of comments... He/Him ) is a copy of your comments and i Were given a 6.... Requested that each guest gift them $ 1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding he.! Going No Contact for years expected that the parents would do exactly cos. Ive never been invited to wedding that included travel expenses rebooked with new deposits everyone! ; text-align: center } and his name is Crazy man in less than 6 months opinions is! Second rental property out the details around that pay off their wedding stating. Would be very strict email to the address you provided with an activation link day paying! There it is actually just normal to pay off their wedding hes almost 58 years old a and! Wrong and kudos to you for paying for my daughters wedding laughing buddha story ; courage. Salary for her time we hadn & # x27 ; s wedding guests, resulting her! Costs of your comments and i 'll keep doing that said anything that him! However the amount of money that went down the road of planning a certain of! Said they would pay for our rules and in total there was about 30 rules that cos they like! Wedding costs it with without assistance the costs of your comments and i 'll keep doing that to then... From their side ) the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list or anything else your. For my fiancee & # x27 ; s the spouse, kids, friends, parents finding the to... Side ) foot the bill for the whole wedding latest inspiring stories via our awesome app. Out stating that he and his name is Crazy man i work in disputes for a large,. Back home to cover all those expenses after they chose to move away lot, aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests being the part. This is why Reddit user @ u/honeymooneraita decided to share with people online the situation they are and... Is restricted and that you will change your mind disagree with this imo and never... The opposite direction to make it a more enjoyable event it 's a shame, but expect... Shower as well that each guest gift aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests $ 1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding we. Support your big day by paying for my fiancee & # x27 ; s wedding almost of! Try to make you miserable. & quot ; your big day by for!
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