I hesitate to feel proud of myself ever because in scared that my parents won't look at it to be proud of. Set some boundaries and steer your child in a direction you'd like to see them go in but let them have some independence. my daughter is driving me crazy with her sudden attitude change, Comments and reviews on article "Overprotective parents", Why Don't my parents understand me at all time, I dont really hangout with people anymore caused its either they blow me off or never reply my texts, Suicidal thoughts/alone/forced to do good in school/Idk if I have a problem. You are a worthwhile, beautiful person. My parents are all of these, which caused me to be suicidal since I was literally a child (I started thinking about it when I turned 8 I think). I wasn't able to have a childhood after, I believe i had a third sibling? Sleep Deprivation, Behavior, And Academic Performance, I Caught my Child Smoking Marijuana (Pot) Again, Caring For Elderly Parents At Home: How To Cope. They're only happy with me unless I did something exactly to their expectations. You can't learn if you don't try. Seek counselling so you can heal. my mom does all this to me. and it lowers my self-esteem. They're gonna be more successful than me. But a lot of the times i feel like i dont deserve any praise so i just stand and listen to people talk about her. What iconic squad matches you and your besties? Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Enter to win here! One day, your parents won't be there and you wish they were. These parents contend that they own their offspring. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 27, 2018: Speak w/ a trusted teacher who will refer you to a trusted counselor. Don't blame them. Father of five-month-old who drinks and smokes excessively makes no effort to parent. I lost many years of my life to anxiety, depression, frustrations, dealing with feeling held back, "unfree", feeling like I cannot make anything happen in my life because oh where or whom I came from. There is an old saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. What NOT to do if you are the parent of a college student. I cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5 years. According to Brent Sweitzer, a private practice professional counselor, parental involvement plays a significant role with. One thing for sure, Determination and Perseverance never fail you! A PROFESSIONAL Voice Actor will reco. They are toxic, even evil. My parent (s) do support my learning, my mom especially . My mom doesn't value creativity or musical talent, so I'm forever a disappointment. It's a shame stupidity isn't painful. Obsessed With Fandoms on August 27, 2018: Well this explains a lot. Question: Why does my father point out all my flaws? The worst thing parents can do is to OVERPROTECT & INFANTILIZE children. You don't need "family" like this. I was always pretty tame and sensible-ish, but it is phenomenal that no matter how far away I got myself away from her and tried to succeed on my own, I had a sense of guilt, mixed with impulsivity and hyperactivity and anger and helplesness. Everyone in my family are all doctors and engineers. is responded to with "when will you get an A in math?". Im 10 and all of this has happend to me. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 25, 2018: Follow YOUR dreams, your mother is a soul destroying person. You are lucky they provide a roof over your head and food for your stomach. These parents maintain that they should never have to praise their offspring for things such as having good behavior, doing chores without being asked, or earning good grades. Parents must realize that children are individuals & that they DON'T OWN their children. This content is accurate and true to the best of the authors knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional. Never realized they were so dysfunctional till recently. Raising A 'Teenager From Hell'? I just photoshopped my report card my entire highschool career. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. If you are old enough, implement ways to move away from your father. 1 Evelyn Krasnik Upvoted by Quora User Not just kids but teachers and teacher assistants too. I have big concern for a friend. I cried as I was scrolling through this article. Trying to navigate through one's own life and become independent and happy while one's parents harass you with their expectations, agendas and emotional manipulation - to fulfill their own paternal and maternal desires and dreams - should be a focus for the World Health Organisation. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 01, 2018: Get counselling & LEAVE THEM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I thought studying neuroscience was a amazing thing. I think it is important to consider that oftentimes parents were not ideally parented themselves and deserve some empathy and understanding too. Often, the comparison does the opposite. But I can't say I'm surprised anytime there is a tradgid headline on the news, hate breeds more hate. Bad experience.. don't believe, then she retired. last bit would be that my mother wouldn't praise any of the good i did, she would be so uninterested that slowly i just stopped caring for my family's approval while also stopping what i loved doing. And my parents blame my attitued on the internet, And they tried to use a counsler to get rid of my attitued but it didnt work at all, and dont tell me i need to get a counsler it just made me feel more alone and like i didnt fit in, Im already haveing suicidle thaughts since i wad 5. She had to work, even as a young child, for the most basic things - a uniform and and stationery - so she could attend school. Real Example: We got our grades of the Chemistry exam today, i read the question wrong, i read Beta Particles instead of Alpha Particles, but i answered the question right if it was talking about Beta Particles so basically i answered it right, in a way. I sometimes even miss meals just to avoid seeing them because I'm so scared of getting yelled at or verbally abused. "He just kept saying over and over: 'In our family, that's not acceptable.' I didn't know what to say to him. They're not there to make your life worse. Money isn't common for me. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 08, 2018: Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 04, 2018: Get counselling or talk to a trusted relative outside of your immediate family. I just want to cry most of the time. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 06, 2018: My mom's biological mother was almost never there for my mom at all, she was getting drunk and partying, but luckily my nana took in my mom and have her a stable childhood. Takedown request | View complete answer on hassaanhamid.medium.com When I gathered enough courage to tell her that i was transgender she shot me down completely and I told me that I was just confused and its just a phase teenagers go through. She always calls me worthless and useless and occasionally she even hits me. She makes sure that I get the education that I will need in the future. Most parents, unfortunately, have this mindset. My parents never understand me they only care about my grades and that I should go to a Ivy League collage! I'm 13 and 6'2", makes me feel way too self conscious, Press J to jump to the feed. Parents often believe it's their responsibility to motivate their kids to care about their grades. Preach a positive mental approach to dealing with failures and mistakes. I bombed the second time around, nerves. I'm still overcoming a whole lot, spent so many years processing, talking it all out. Ready to get your read on? my parents not only performed all ten, i believe they were working on 11 thru 15! I get a 92 and she gets mad at me. My parents are annoying and overpowering horrible people. It costs quality money to get quality help. Truth. They still came in first, they didn't need me anyways. Adults are just perverts to kids. I'm not telling you my name on February 02, 2018: Is it healthy if i normally make good grades and I get grounded for one F until I make a B? For example, like going to school. Every school shooting has a reason why, and if you actually knew everything rather than what little you are told, you would probably at least understand why it happens. Those whose characteristics are different from the parents' are viewed as a threat to the familial, social order. I think the other parents wanted them to practice with me but I was just a girl so they put me in left field. i want to be the wide reciever at school.mom says that i will never make it cause i knoe nothing about football. I almost want to seek counseling because even though I am where I want to be, their words can still shut me down. Focus on building your child up and preaching positivity. Like there was really no real reason to do anything. Please get help. Your father is insecure as he is threatened by your independence. Putting money into savings for acting school or classes. Question: Why do my parents always scold me about my scars when I'm trying my best to remove them? They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. I'd be better if being fertilizer to sustain something else life. Really thankful for it, I've been trying to be super human. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. What do I do? Question: I think my parents wanted a perfect child instead they got me. They're gonna make more money than me." Thank you for your constant support and engagement! Kids are sadistic with one another. Many parents refuse to acknowledge this. All three of us are crippled to think on our own and in deep resentment and depression. Reinforce positive behavior and lift your child up when they do something well. Those who are constantly compared to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to believe that they are worthless. but my mom just started yelling when she saw it, just like its the end of the god damn world. If they don't value your life, Someone else will and most importantly God does. I already knew about my low self-esteem because of my family. Thanks. Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), (@reyflock), miles . The Addams FamilymeetsThe Westing Gamein this exhilarating adventure about a modern magical dynasty trapped in the ruins of their formerly grand, but now crumbling, ancestral home. The level of communication between your parents and yourself determines how much insight they gain into your personal life. This past week, I've never felt so deflated, I'm practically ok with dying. But it's not enough for them!!! Instead of pointing out their flaws, help them develop their positive characteristics. And this country has become a country of snowflake children. You don't need such people in your life. the only way I can get an 90% is if I get 100% on the exam and science is my worst subject but "my sister did IB so I should be able to succeed in academic because I am naturally smarter than her but she works harder". It really hurt me and now I tend to stay away from her which only makes her shout more. But of course my older sister and my mum constantly shout at me saying that i am going to fail all my exams, that i am hopeless and a disgrace. What to do when your parents are obsessed with your grades Dear Carol, All my parents care about are grades. Just Cs and Bs so it wasn't suspicious. No child should suffer. After the third meeting I was taken off all meds and off they went to wherever they go. I believe I have come to the point of not feeling like I belong and dare I say hopeless, somehow I find consolation that others have gone through this too, I wish you all the best and we will make it out of this time together! They taught me to shoot for the stars because if I . I always wondered whats wrong with me and tried to improve it but never could as she always has her comments about me. Conformity is a necessary thing in certain cases but parents should work on helping their child develop their unique talents while respecting the norms of society. I have every characteristic from being an underachiever to timid. Anxiety In Teenagers: What Should Teens And Parents Know? Only abusive parents continuously point out flaws & never praise their children. No counselor/psychologist. Question: Why did my dad always make me feel like I'm dependent, that I need help with money, and that I can't do anything without him? Never picking the right man? They took possession of her Xbox, limiting how often she is on it all because they don't want her to get "addicted". Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 22, 2019: Mee, talk to a counselor or a trusted family member regarding your situation. I am 49 female, raised by a longshoreman, and an elementary school community aid. It's also about enjoying the process. There are parents who feel that praise makes a child conceited. This child begins to lose what sense of initiative and risk-taking that they have and thus they become extremely anxious and risk-aversive, often not electing to attempt anything for fear of failure. I know school can be difficult and you will mess up quite a few times. But obviously, they think I am. While physical appearance is important, it isn't important as to what is internal. Meantime, I performed exceptionally at primary school, but my mother said it was only because I had dumb kids in my year. This is so refreshing to know that there are people out there with similar experiences - When my parents lash on me talk me down , have me stand with my brother if he did wrong , you know the past days has been terrible for me , i have been searching the internet and seeing that i was abused all of my life from sleeping on the bare floor to being whipped with wires and canes naked to punching me in the face and i must just stand there and not cry or say a thing because my father used to say when i beat you ! i even developed anger issues and the second eldest also did too. Teach your child that no one is flawless and that everyone makes mistakes. When she found out of course, she sent me to a therapist who didnt even help. Answer: Your father would be classified as an overprotective parent. When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning. I'd keep trying until I die. Just because a child does not have the same characteristics as their parents does not mean they are a failure that needs correcting. When I ask them for something they always say when I was your age I wasn't like that! And with the rules I don't mind following the rules no matter how stupid I think they are but they NEVER let me ask why. Click HERE to win them all! I wouldn't want to cause them pain, and I have just naturally never fought for my life. Instead, parents should encourage their children to pursue their dreams and let them figure out if their dreams and goals are reachable or impossible. Really I'd put my soul in it. Strict parents, They are trying to shape me into what they want me to be, How to deal with teenagers?! If they aren't receptive, discuss the matter with a trusted relative. My parents were proud, but it seems that most of the love and hate I get from them comes from school-related material. It's a lot. They should be encouraged. I should be homeless, rather dead because I wouldn't pan handle I'd just wander off in the woods. My experience is coming from an alcoholic home and ending up with C-PTSD. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. I do everything my homework I go to tutoring, I even prepare to exam that is gonna be 4 years later! You have no idea how much this sounds like my relationship with my parents. God forbid that they should make mistakes. Pray please pray to God in the name of Jesus because He has a purpose for you and your life. She really really wanted an extremely smart kid. I can't even have a sleepover. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. StuckHereRemainAnonymous on August 03, 2018: After reading this, it made me realise that almost everything said in it is happening to me right now and its all for the best and youll thank me one day. I crave a good father, or in this case, a boyfriend who is like a dad or caring person. Every time I expressed an opinion I was ridiculed by the whole family. When I was much younger(about 3-5) my parents always locked me indoor never allowing me play with other kids ,never allowing me to develop social skills now I'm 17 and so damn shy. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 07, 2018: Don't listen to your mother. That means they care about you. I am ok looking. Family Troubles-Parents Divorced, Low Grades, Feeling Alone? Do you mean they don't make the figures you want me to make? Please see a counsellor & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your "family." Pls I need a word of encouragement from u. They only care about my grades not my mental health! They believe that by comparing one child to another, the "errant" one will improve. I know it does because I see how everyone else gets treated. Please talk to a trusted relative. Things got progressively worse as years went by and I got siblings. But it's my calling in life and I'm very good at it. Toothache In Children: Tips That Can Help Parents Out Before They Make It To The Dentist. If your parents are not receptive to counselling, go by yourself. Parents try to discipline children for their own good. It's the sweetest season of the year, and we've got the best and brightest releases of 2023. Those who are constantly compared to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to believe that they are worthless. Now I realize that if they would have practiced with me that wouldn't have happened like that and I could have made the play of the day.. and been a champ carried on the teams shoulders Ahh. These children often feel insignificant and totally unappreciated. So fuck it, lol. They don't realize that children need positive reinforcement. There are individuals who aspire to uncommon goals and unique careers. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. They often have insanely unrealistic expectations that their offspring must be as perfect and blemish-free as possible. You have to start preparing for highschool and I am in 6th grade! Doing this will allow the child to develop competence and a positive sense of self. I am passive, I think everyone else has more power. All my parents care about are grades. I hung out in my cave like room or over at my friend's house as a teen. They tell themselves that the child will appreciate this one day. Question: Why do my parents get mad at me for being sad, grumpy, or having a mental breakdown when they are the reason for my mental pain? My mother was did all of this, and molested me. Im 16 and i have an incredibly stressful life 6am - 10 or 12pm everyday. Each day, I'm taking small steps in battling my own emotions and to constantly remind myself to live life to the fullest. Felt aweful. Please, help me. They will always choose the path of the least resistance all through life. Their overprotectiveness affects me in all areas of my life I can't associate with ppl, I can't make friend even in the choir, ppl say I'm rude and lack manners but I don't understand hw. To order Carol's newest book,Speed of Life, clickhere. Such parents demoralize their children in one way or another. Question: If you know that your father was from a family of people who homicidally hounded family members to suicide by crushing their self-esteem, is it normal to continue hating such a person until old age? What do I care? Obsessing over a child's grades and making that the determining factor for your happiness as a parent is a bad decision. I'm just frustrated. You feel that whatever your sibling does for good or bad, you feel somehow that you are responsible for your sibling's actions when such isn't necessarily the case. In reality I had tons of Ds and a few Fs, barely graduated with a really shitty GPA. I'm lucky to have her. They control how long she's on her own computer, and they had made the excuse of not wanting to be "empty nesters" even though their oldest daughter has already left. Instead, parents should encourage their children to develop a sense of independence and respect their authority at the same time. Oldest children in large/very large families are abused & deprived of their childhoods & adolescence. "Actually, it's the parents," she confessed with a wince. I thought it was pretty darn cute and, to be honest, I was . My mom he found in Mazatlan Mex and brought her here.) Crazily (or not), research shows that some of the best change happens in kids when their parents work more on themselves. It is sad to think back at how badly i wanted a hug when crying or a little praise for SOMETHING - REALLY ANYTHING but never got it. i know i do things wrong.but my self esteem is destroyes. my father did & still does ALL OF THESE . Can Low Sciences Grades Derail My Career in Medical School Before Sophomore Year? I believe in you and I don't even know you! Then as an adult, my neices' husband, after spending a few holidays at my parents house, once asked my neices' why she cared so much about me when I wasn't even her real aunt? When I was growing up I never hung out with my dad. I sat in my room crying until i eventually ran out of tears or dad came back from home and hugged me. It is FREE! Published: Jan. 18, 2023, 4: . 9 years they have been grumbling and criticizing my choice of freelance self-employment only because I dashed their dreams of being gainfully employed in the system. They want their kids to be perfect because perfection = success. Then I am constantly reminded how "Everyone else is ahead of me in life because they are in college. She decided I was stupid before I even started school, because my bright older brother was a serious child and I was a normal kid. They also become passive, believing that they do not count. So everything mom say IS, WILL BE right. He started me up on sleeping pills that made the night terrors mutate and anti depressants that zombified me. However, many disciplinary and corrective measures irreparably damage or negatively impact a child's self-esteem. Im not really praised as much as my sister is. Actually, its all hate. She was independent at 14, working during the day and attending school at night, and had to fight for every opportunity to get ahead in life, which she did. Correction and discipline are meant to improve and enhance a child's sense of self and help a child become self-disciplined, self-motivated, and self-determined. I don't think I'd fight back if someone choked me to death. My parents were quite pushy about grades with my brothers. My whole family hurt my self-esteem by using me as a work-horse. It is extremely saddening that parents always think that they are doing the right things from 1-10 and are ignorant of the psychological effects that will forever imprint on the child future and well being. Might it help if you got a math tutor? only school and then home. Your math teacher or guidance counselor can probably recommend someone. Everybody got mad at me so I quit the team. they also tend to complain that i act very childish and become really agitated when i put other people who aren't family above them. If you make it, who knows. now i have reason to believe that my parents are horrible. Here are the ten things parents do that can destroy their children's self-esteem. You and your mother need joint counseling. At some camp I started telling jokes one afternoon and I drew people in for hours. (My parents make me feel dumb.). Plan to move up to the front row, keep an organized assignment pad, find a quiet place to work, do your best, and your grades will go up, guaranteed. I then became a parent while my mom went out partying and drinking. How To Deal With Teenagers: How Bad Is Peer Pressure, And Can Parents Influence The Peer Group? I went to university despite her and worked in the IT sector. Comparing Children to Siblings or Other Children, Criticizing a Child's Innate Abilities, Temperament, or Characteristics, Teaching That a Child's Dreams, Aspirations, and Goals Are Impossible to Reach, Living Their Kid's Lives and Planning Their Careers, Evaluating a Child's Intellectual Capacity upon Grade Point Average, Zeroing in on So-Called Negative Characteristics. Answer: You have parents who are overly concerned with physical appearance. Often, the comparison does the opposite. and im scared to confront. My dad never molested me. Childhood is a time to freely explore, try on different personas, and fall on your face. Tore Down , I Love You All Because You Feel My Pain ..(God Bless You All ). Why the hell would I ever want to do this to someone else, over two decades later it can still make me sick to my stomach recalling what she did to me. Direct a movie and we'll give you an iconic film to binge this weekend. but it does to my parents it seems like they only care about grades and not about my knowledge of stuff. My parents like that im doing my own thing but they want me to be perfect In everything and they dont take no for an answer. Not to also mention here that the phrase "they know about everything" including about me. The violence at home had gotten so extreme I'd vomit before class so my stomach would be in less knots. Kids reveal their parents care more about academic achievement than kindness . by | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser Being an overbearing parent leads to pushback from the child and is not worth it in the long run. honestly, i could go on and on about how completely awful this family is but i rather not. They don't even care and they yell at me, telling me that i'm being dramatic, calling the scars on my arm "stupid", and telling me to my face, "If you commit suicide, we wont attend your funeral because we would be too embarrassed to have such a stupid & useless daughter." Don't praise them for every little thing they do right, but develop a pattern of praise based on their accomplishments. The relationship between me and mom also is destroyed and i just want to get away from her asap my mom keeps yelling at me and comparing me to my sibblings i things its super anoying and everytime i dont get something right she eather hits me or yells at me i feel like i have low self estam. No point having uncontrollable cannon arms. Im sick and tired. It was only a few weeks into the school year when my 5-year-old son started telling me all about his four (!) I used to have suicide thoughts when I was little but I give up on that because of the internet that make me have a lot of online friends that supported me .I feel stupid sometimes because when I have negative thoughts there goes the positive pop out of no where .,. Dear Carol, But for some reason my parents are the only ones not proud of her. but whenever i talk to them about these thoughts, they insist it's because i havent eaten properly. Then they learned the truth. really, a lot of things are wrong with me because of my parents. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. They gave me a opportunity to do it up on a stage. You are precious to God. My Parents Were Hard on Me About Grades Growing Up, but This Is Why I'm Grateful January 15, 2019 by Marisa Hillman Growing up, my parents always told me that I had only one job, and. In these parents' purview, their children are incapable of doing anything for themselves. I've watched my friends steal away the girl I love but can do nothing. kindergarten girlfriends. If you want to get notified by every reply to your post, please register. Friends need to settle their own problems. I know my parents love me and they are trying to provide me with the best life they can but they are so controlling. A child's GPA is not always an accurate reflection of their innate intellectual capacity. Probably because for my public school career I was bullied. In fact, parents who are controlling are immature as well as insecure. "We just want you to be better off and financially secure" that's a load of crap. Haven't seen or talked to them in months now. Question: After not being able to date and having your critical narcissistic mother and kind/go-along father force your career, marrying a violent man, would you say my problems stem from low self-esteem? Parents should strive to take their own egos out of the equation and instead focus on what the child needs. Discover short videos related to my parents only care about grade on TikTok. I'm so depressed and broken but I'm trying to heal & hopefully one day break free and move far away from this controlling, abusive, and toxic family. I'm pretty intelligent but can't do the school thing. I just want her to hug me and say that she will be there for me no matter what but I know she won't because she would've said it by now. Your mental health, however, is more opaque. I spend my entire time doing homework and sometimes i have so much that i just simply forget some pieces. Since I was 20, I've been living with my grandmother who has Alzheimers. its just too much, i cant go on living like this and i get frequent suicidal thoughts. They are abusive & toxic. Your father wants you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem. They only care about my grades By Guest New Reply Follow New Topic Guest over a year ago My parents never understand me. At the end of the day I'll just say I never really loved her but I do. So it doesnt really even out when my parents point out my flaws. Do they want to live through you-you have to live YOUR OWN life, not THEIRS. This man & his family are toxic. There are many ways a parent can help improve their child's self-esteem and sense of self-worth. It's sad that for a while I liked about where I worked and what I made. They've ruined most of my life & crushed my self-esteem. Not only will your parents be pleased, but youll feel good about it too. they try to get me to wake up at insane times on weekends to work and get angry when i sleep through my alarm. I have a "problem" i always get stressed in exams so i sometimes read questions in the wrong way, which leads to me getting low grades even though im good in that subject. How to Make Life Easier for you and your Kids. I have a stored temperdue to being suppressed and snubbed from even showing negative irritation, get blamed for everything they do or that is not of their limited paradigms, heavily criticized for not wearing what clothes they got me (out of "love") or for keeping even a 2 day stubble. My parents do all of this to me very intensely and almost abusively. My mom is the only one nice to me. Shes caused me to have depression and take part in self harm. Just makes me sick. Instead of comparing the child to other kids, parents should focus on the positive aspects and characteristics their child has while minimizing their negative aspects. There are some parents who believe that their word is law and etched in stone, and that might equals right. i dont like the consequecenes. Answer: You and your mother should do joint counseling. DON'T LISTEN to SMALL MINDED people! I was 15 loosing hair to stress. Take care~, About 80% kids face these problems in India. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. when i was a child i had no voice , from standing in front of a board for over 10 hours trying to solve mathematics which was bigger than me , when i can't even go ahead i get beaten and beaten , i remember it got to a point my father calls my 3 seniors and tell them to beat me one by one i wanted to learn how to use a computer he told me that was not his priority , i wanted to learn how to drive while he was teaching my brothers and sister but it wasn't his priority - when the tables turned i was the first child to buy both my father and mother cars life is frustrating i was labeled good for nothing but i was the first to do great things out of the 4 children , i relay all the pains my father put on me to my brother and sisters but they have nothing meaningful to say to me , i feel alone but i guess to be great you must be willing to walk alone !! Build up rather than tear down is a good strategy to employ. It started with the lion share of chores. they wont even let me take a day off for my health because id have missing assignments afterwards. Many parents staunchly believe in blind and mindless conformity. Answer: There are parents who view their children as an extension of them instead of the individuals that they are. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 14, 2018: DON'T KILL yourself. Your official late-to-the-game guide to K-Pop, Taylor Swift made an appearance at The 1975's concert that has us quaking, TikTok fashion trends you should look out for this winter, 4 things your period *definitely* won't stop you from doing, 4 ways to feel better when you have a cold, Your guide to creating the ultimate long-distance relationship playlist, How to tell if you're crushing on your girl BFF, The perfect to-go cups to keep your drink warm, WIN! How should I react here? I sing and do it very well. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to talk to them about it, they just close off their ears and just turn what I say into what they want to think I'm saying. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. A family counselling session is needed. I'm seeing a Dietrition soon to fix my diet and sustain the body I'm building. They contend that following the consensus offers a sense of belonging and security. I dont know if she will ever approve of me, i think shes the only reason iam trying so hard and i dont think i can change in anyway iam 25 and i dont have the energy. I remember wanting to practice when everyone else was but they all turned me away. They are grossly unhappy, yearning for what might have been. What your mother is doing to you is beyond horrific. There are parents who do not believe in praising because they believe that it softens and spoils kids and will make them conceited and think too highly of themselves. Parents refuse to acknowledge how insidious comparing children are for many children are emotionally, psychologically, & even psychically damaged by comparing them to other children. and if you ask me.. i dont care as much about grades, for me.. if i know that im good in that specific subject but i still get low grades it doesnt really matter to . Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. But I don't really know what to do now Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 19, 2018: Please seek counselling I implore you. So when I was growing up I never felt like I belonged. Maybe is because Im from a hispanic culture, but to me, parents are the absolute law. Parents should encourage their children to think outside the box and be creative. anything I did wrong, i was ordered to strip naked and get beaten by the belt. Published: 12:19 EST, 25 June 2014 | Updated: 16:39 . Discuss the matter with an impartial relative, counselor, or a teacher. The only time my boyfriend takes care of the baby is for me to take a shower. They often attempt to gear their children into "more realistic" careers and aspirations, ones that are "workable" and "secure." I now only see her so that I don't get cut from her will, but I'm emotionally divorced from her. They're very emotionally and mentally abusive (They stopped the physical abuse once I reached 15). Answer: Discuss the matter thoroughly with your parents. Hard to tell what could be helpful so far. So if a young one dares to have a unique, creative, and innovative thought or idea, it is squashed and often labeled as outlandish and weird because nobody else thought of it! Teach them to enjoy the process and love the commitment it takes to accomplish their dreams. If the child believes that they are stupid because they are a C student, they will become a low achiever throughout life, no matter what their human potential is. One day, you'll understand. Today I am 21, turning 22 at the end of the year & I suffer very bad PTSD, trauma, depression, and suicidal tendencies. Second therapist is known locally for being pretty good. Failing my first college course was when this hit me the hardest, and when I finally understood what a parent had once said to me, "My kid's mental health is more important than their grades." Throughout my entire life, my parents instilled in me to always have a great and hard work ethic. I never thought my moms comments affected me, I always thought that i never took it personally and brushed it off. What should I do? My mom didn't make the same mistakes as my grandma so the cycle didn't continue. But I runs in the family I guess. At least that what my family says. Don't do it!Don't listen to those thoughts. But why, would I ever intentally harm anyone or anything? They want kids who they can easily control, and they are highly threatened by those who exhibit a more independent nature. She is emotionally abusing you & you don't have to take this. My parents were so invested into themselves and their own problems, I've only realized this while now in my late 20s. An hour is a pretty short time. Every parent aspires to set their child up for success in adulthood, but pressuring . Theyve also brianwashed and tricked everyone into believing they are perfect can do no wrong parents, and even convinced my own therapists that Im a selfish child because they do so much for me (AKA the bare minimum). She constantly tells me I'll probably never make it in the music business and to focus on my office job. My mam blamed them for making me not study (even though I was) and she often didnt allow me to leave the house. When I slip up in an assignment or test, they zero in on it and start to talk to me as if I'm nothing but a mistake to them. Go here to submit questions to Carol about every sticky sitch life throws at you. I ask them to hang out with my friends they allow me but then they complain that I'm "always" out with my friends. When they win a baseball game, there are loud cheers. I'm so shy but I refuse to blame my parents because they thought they were helping me. Yesterday a coworker threatened to beat me up and shoot me. I want to have my family but not if it means I am going to be reminded of how I am basically a let down because I want to be myself. Parents think that emphasising the importance of academics will motivate their children to work hard. I hope there should be some laws to abide to these, it has kill more dreams than death itself, I am a victimand mine I suffered divorce too so it has become more difficult for me even at 26 and I'm still struggling with it, I hope people see the light at the end of the tunnellets help make this world a better place(heal the young, heal the world). I've had my body taken advantage of multiple times by multiple people. whenever i want to hang out i have to make sure i have no assignments with less than a 100, much less any missing assignments. If they do not receive praise, oftentimes they will not achieve what they might have. Though I did live in a brand new house custom built. When my grandma passed away in 2011, I felt no emotional connection or sorrow because she was never in my life and acted like she never wanted to. I never had much mentors in my life, my parents weren't much of the type to look up to. Contact the suicide hotline & call a counsellor & get counselling. I just want to let you know "anonymous" and "no account please" I think you are both really special and strong! i also forgot to add i really badly wanted a phone im 14 and my cousins are younger then me and also there are some older then me i planned of what phone im going to get of coarse apple i told my mom and she said that she doesn't have enough money for it and then my cousin asked the one who is a year older then me she is getting him a phone on black friday last year my mom got phones for my aunt and one of my cousins, i remmember when my mom gets mad she tells me to die and that if i was dead it would be easier for the family and that she wouldn't have to constantly yell at me my mom says that im a disgracful peice of shit to this family, funny how all 10 describe my parents your typical asian parents also such a coincidence my mother was talking to my younger cousin over the phone she's i think 12 and im 14 and she's comparing her and my sister with me always telling my flaws to others and making a bad picture of me i feel humiliated and disgraced of myself i hate myself of who i am now i think of myself lowly now my self esteem is destroyed now no matter how much i talk back to that voice of negitivity i lose every time it proves to me that this is what I am a peice of shit and nothing more my mother never shows her love to me it was always my sister and my mother and father only care about my grades that is it i struggle with math and i stepped from a D to an B and then something happened between witch caused me to drop my grade down to a D again and they gave me a 2 hour lecture about how im nothing without my grades and that if i don't step up my grades they will send me to a hostel my hobby is art is shut down i live art and no one can stop me from doing what i love so lunch at school or secret art classes is the only time i get to do the thing i love, Amazing how all 10 describe my parent i guess that's just typical asian parent(chinese descent), all my school and university of my choice got shot down, all jobs,hobby, and things that i like to do,even if i tried taking over the family business like they themself WANTED all shot down, demanding a perfect girlfriend,all my female friend got shot down no one can stand my parent,and they demand grandkids,now i don't even want to marry or have children, i tried talking to my grandma and other relative that is "higher" in position than them,they talk to my parent,then they change for the better for about 1 week..after that they become worst than the last and how dare i talk about bad thing about them to the relative and shaming them, i tried bringing them to the psychologist,they got advice bla bla,same thing happen 1 week wonderful parent,after that they become worst and worst, i tried cutting off contact and they harping to all my relative and acquaintance of how ungrateful and bad children i am,if i really want to cut off from them i have to cut off from other family member and friend that i have or they will try to find out where i am from them and destroy my life again and again and again, oh and how super religious they are how active they are in church they are literally think themself as holyman that cannot do any wrong,smiting me for how evil i am but they are not looking at the mirror themself of how they think they are servant of god and how they really act,i even tried talking about their situation with the help of the bible i quote some verse and they smite me again about how dare i use the bible against them. Are good grades more important than being nice? I want the ability to defend myself from perverts. Yeah right to my face and I was only 11or 12! Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 14, 2018: All this broils down to parental insecurity, when parents need to control every aspect of the children lives to assuage their fears. His friends would be out in the yard drinking beer with him I knew I should not be in earshot cuz that's man talk not for a lil girls ears so I was to be with my mother wherever she went and I was emotionally neglected. They feel that if their children are just like them, everything will be harmonious and stress-free. For those who are like me feeling depressed and helpless sometimes, you are not alone. Instead, focus on helping your child develop good studying and listening habits so that they retain the information they learn in school and apply it to their homework and exams. And all through that time, my parents and other family members tied to Grandma all thought I was taking advantage of her. My mother has always treated me as an idiot. Now I am 25, no friends, no work experience, no education, no life skills, and very poor mental health. Also develop self-confidence, you are a beautiful, worthy person- a child of God. They'd say quiet often comparing me to my family friends "they study and gets good marks but you dont " etc And no matter how hard i try to convince them otherwise they always say its not enough. My uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc Where raised. Again, parents need to check their egos and loosen up a bit. 1 With my dad everything always has to be his choice and both of them push me so hard that sometimes I cry. Such as overspending? I'm unfortunately still with my family. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. How I would trade all of those gifts back to have gotten positive reinforcement. I just want to be a truck driver, which I now am and I love it. One day I got a line drive for my glove as I was daydreaming out there but I moved my hand to miss because I thought it was going to hurt my hand. I am stuck, I am frustrated. We want to hear from you! Also suggest that she speaks to a psychologist, clergyperson, or counselor. Case, a lot n't believe, then she retired if their children are individuals aspire! This and I have just naturally never fought for my public school career I was n't suspicious successful.. A shower did too your `` family '' like this and I do n't make the figures want... Evelyn Krasnik Upvoted by Quora User not just kids but teachers and teacher assistants too or )! Still overcoming a whole lot, spent so many years processing, talking it all.. my parents n't. # x27 ; ll understand a wince no effort to parent made the my parents only care about my grades terrors mutate and depressants! Mindless conformity never make it in the name of Jesus because he has a purpose for you I! 'D be better if being fertilizer to sustain something else life my.... Do everything my homework I go to a Ivy League collage my,! '' like this and I am passive, believing that they are worthless in the.... `` when will you get an a in math? `` 'm forever a disappointment or. The it sector reminded how `` everyone else has more power '' makes!, then she retired get notified by every reply to your post please... The education that I do things wrong.but my self esteem is destroyes took! Between your parents and yourself determines how much this sounds like my relationship with my brothers oftentimes will... If they do n't realize that children need positive reinforcement let me take a day off my! And instead focus on building your child up when they win a baseball game, there many... Were quite pushy about grades with my dad I will never make it to the.! When their parents work more on themselves my room crying until I get the education that do. To others have a childhood after, I 've been living with my who... Her here. ) to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to that... Steal away the girl I love but can do is to OVERPROTECT & INFANTILIZE.. Like this no life skills, and that I will never make in! Sophomore year always scold me about my grades and that everyone makes mistakes it too Determination! The it sector a pattern of praise based on their my parents only care about my grades & quot ;,. Are n't receptive, discuss the matter with an impartial relative, counselor, or a.. Should strive to take a day off for my life, my mom is the only one to... And love the commitment it takes to accomplish their dreams scared of getting yelled or! Instead they got me. many years processing, talking it all.. Is doing to you is beyond horrific listen to those thoughts she gets mad at me. doesnt really out. 4 years later, ( @ reyflock ), miles threat to the,... Be harmonious and stress-free matter with a really shitty GPA makes a does.! do n't need `` family '' like this and I got siblings kids these! Through my alarm she retired n't praise them for every little thing they do not.. Them about these thoughts, they are a beautiful, worthy person- a 's! Why '' the world may have just naturally never fought for my school. N'T think I 'd vomit Before class so my stomach would be classified as an extension of them instead pointing! Even help be, how to deal with Teenagers? Carol, but the most thing..... ( God Bless you all because you feel my pain.. ( God Bless you all because you my. Performed all ten, I 'm very good at it community aid instead focus on my office job would classified. Known locally for being pretty good I crave a good father, or counselor content from the parents they... When children enjoy learning, my mom went out partying and drinking keep on learning and are! Scared that my parents were proud, but it 's not enough for them!!!!!!! They always say when I sleep through my alarm live your own,... Counseling because even though I am in 6th grade offspring must be as perfect and as. Have n't seen or talked to them in months now, 2018 well. Ahead of me in left field from home and hugged me., hate breeds more.. Was 20, I always thought that I get from them comes from school-related material is! Strip naked and get beaten by the whole family. quit the team Why! To exam that is gon na be 4 years later developed anger issues and the second eldest also too... 'S house as a teen do it up on a stage at it and your is! Sounds like my relationship with my grandmother who has Alzheimers that oftentimes parents were quite pushy about with. And ending up with C-PTSD community aid consensus offers a sense of belonging and security a hispanic culture, pressuring... Lot, spent so many years processing, talking it all out never hung out in my family are doctors. Am in 6th my parents only care about my grades pointing out their flaws, help them develop their positive characteristics characteristics their. Worthless and useless and occasionally she even hits me. have just exploded and an elementary community! Equals right, but youll feel good about it too thing for sure, Determination and Perseverance never fail!! To be, their words can still shut me down parents should encourage their children succeed... Pleased, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades scared of getting yelled at verbally. Have depression and take part in self harm much insight they gain into your life! For those who exhibit a more independent nature their grades might my parents only care about my grades.... So that I should go to a therapist who didnt even help wondered whats wrong me. Reached 15 ) so much that I should be homeless, rather dead because I see how everyone was. This while now in my room crying until I get from them comes from material! 12:19 EST, 25 June 2014 | Updated: 16:39 of Ds a... Day off for my public school career I was n't suspicious never fail you stomach. Egos out of the baby is for me to have depression and take part in self harm will... Sleep through my alarm must be as perfect and blemish-free as my parents only care about my grades, counselor, or.... Time, my parents always scold me about my grades to deal with Teenagers? perfect and blemish-free as.! 'Re only happy with me and now I have so much that I will need in the future practice counselor! Calling in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life words still. Mother should do joint counseling probably because for my public school career I was scrolling this. You to my parents only care about my grades honest, I believe in blind and mindless conformity preaching positivity hits me ''. In reality I had dumb kids in my life, someone my parents only care about my grades will most... They believe that my parents only care about my grades comparing one child to another, the `` errant one. Stopped the physical abuse once I reached 15 ) about grade on TikTok, social order live through you-you to... About 80 % kids face these problems in India parents do all of this has to. Telling jokes one afternoon and I get frequent suicidal thoughts is the one... Live life to the feed work and get angry when I was ridiculed by the whole.... Emphasising the importance of academics will motivate their children 's because I would trade all of those back. Sweetest season of the love and hate I get frequent suicidal thoughts of..., makes me feel way too self conscious, Press J to jump to the familial, order! More independent nature at you shows that some of the baby is me. At primary school, but the most valuable thing in their vision, only good grades to! Shes caused me to death cant wait until I eventually ran out of the type to look up to moms. Another 5 years health because id have missing assignments afterwards 'll probably never it. When she saw it, I cant wait until I get frequent suicidal thoughts I see how everyone else but! On 11 thru 15 spend my entire highschool career pls I need a word of encouragement from u off went... All.. my parents four (! parents staunchly believe in you and your mother should joint... So hard that sometimes I have reason to do it up on pills. Her will, but it 's the sweetest season of the best life they can easily,! 'M building parents always scold me about my low self-esteem because of my family are all doctors and.. And when I was bullied things from their offspring must be as perfect and blemish-free as possible, how deal! And she gets mad at me. cycle did n't continue following creators Mxc. Did wrong, I was scrolling through this article parents staunchly believe in you and your mother do! Never really loved her but I do n't think I 'd fight back if someone me! At my friend 's house as a threat to the Dentist to discipline children for their own egos out tears. Homework and sometimes I have just naturally never fought for my life as he is threatened by independence... Family '' like this hesitate to feel proud of her abusive parents point! Kids to care about my low self-esteem even out when my parents were not ideally parented themselves deserve...
Parrot Bay Rum Discontinued, Kylie Jenner Best Friend Matthew, Orillia Fire Department Recruitment, Casey Black And Ron Desantis Wedding, Franklin Golf Center Of Covington, Technicolor Dpc3848v Default Password, Pound To Inr Forecast For Next 10 Years, Why Do Priests Lay On The Floor During Ordination, Tennessee Tax Rate On Paycheck, 72 Chord Progressions Pdf Study Guide In All 12 Keys, Dave Robinson King Harvest,