Without you he would have gone to pieces long ago. Hearts are broken. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. What is his basic trouble? Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us. To give up resistance: He finally capitulated and agreed to do the job my way. Lynskey Serial Number, Alcoholics are being attracted from far and near. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. Sweet relationships are dead. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He was ambitious to succeed in business, but saw that he would get nowhere if he drank at all. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. He decides to exert himself more. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. I could go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however loving His sway might be. Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so. Our friend was a ministers son. But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Sometimes he will be so interested that he becomes really neglectful. You can select the following fonts: Arial, Calibri, Comic sans MS, Courier New, Times New Roman and Verdana. According to the Big Book, how many copies were sold of the. We do not mean that you have to agree with your husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. You may have the reverse situation on your hands. He thought all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available for its quick energy value at times of fatigue. Gradually things got worse. Unless the reason is understood, there may be an emotional upset. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks. Most of us sense that real tolerance of other peoples shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Dont raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are. The wives and children of such men suffer horribly, but not more than the men themselves. The family is mystified. In fact, his rival was ruined. Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something in the way of a solution. But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time. I wanted to throw up my hands in discouragement, for I saw that I had failed to help my banker friend understand. Some employers have tried every known remedy. These are a complement to the 12 steps and outline the way AA fellowships maintain unity and relate to the world outside of AA. Is he worth salvaging? We know women who have done it. A 40,000 to 80,000-word memoir is around 150-265 pages, a standard book-length for the genre. Say you do not want to be a wet blanket; that you only want him to take care of his health. Maybe its only a petty offense such as padding the expense account. If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. In the following chapter, there appears an explanation of alcoholism, as we understand it, then a chapter addressed to the agnostic. We stayed on and on. We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him. But he will be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well. We realize some men are thoroughly bad-intentioned, that no amount of patience will make any difference. We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations. Those words are simply not written down in the first 164 pages yet, our literature DOES have multiple references to the idea of taking the Steps. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. One more suggestion: Whether the family has spiritual convictions or not, they may do well to examine the principles by which the alcoholic member is trying to live. How Forty-Two Alcoholics Recovered From Their Malady - (pp. In the midst of an understanding and sympathetic family, these vagaries of dads spiritual infancy will quickly disappear. But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong. How could they? First off, its important to be able to tell the difference between a novel and a novella, a short story and a piece of flash fiction. So we think that unless some good and useful purpose is to be served, past occurrences should not be discussed. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. The opposite may happen should the family condemn and criticize. Dad may feel that for years his drinking has placed him on the wrong side of every argument, but that now he has become a superior person with God on his side. How dark it is before the dawn! When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Here was love, applause, war; moments sublime with intervals hilarious. Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps. We find it a real mistake to dampen his enthusiasm for alcoholic work. Of course that isnt so, and such people often may impose on you. Treat him, when you can, as though he had pneumonia. You will note that we made an important qualification. They said God made these things possible, and we only smiled. After all, are you not looking for results rather than methods? When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. ChatGPT is a buzzy new AI technology that can write research papers or poems that come out sounding like a real person did the work. It stirs his imagination. document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); PHP with Housing for Health Professionals, Substance Abuse Treatment Programs for Professionals, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Program in Florida, Addiction Treatment Programs for Professionals, Mental Health and Addiction Treatment Programs for Professionals, Depression Treatment Center for Professionals, Rehab 101: Self-Will Run Riot How Learning to Let Go of Control Can Help Us Recover, How a 12 Step Program Helps Recovery From Addiction, Rehab 101: The Importance of Practicing New Behaviors (and Attitudes) in Recovery, Rehab 101: Some Reflections on How the Principle of Humility Fits into Recovery. As non-denominational people, we cannot make up others minds for them. Neither is reason, as most of us use it, entirely dependable, though it emanate from our best minds. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. The first 164 pages are unchanged from the book's first printing in 1939. It is open, we believe, to all men. The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. And why? That disgusted me. It is better, however, that one does not needlessly name a person upon whom she can vent jealousy. When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. Among us are wives, relatives and friends whose problem has been solved, as well as some who have not yet found a happy solution. You will want to know more of how to proceed from that point. They can hardly fail to approve these simple principles, though the head of the house still fails somewhat in practicing them. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. First of all, we had to quit playing God. When we were finished we considered it carefully. This man has a charming wife and family. In this connection, can you remain undisturbed if the man proceeds to tell you shocking things? The use of spiritual principles in such cases was not so well understood as it is now. We have not lost everything in life through drinking and we certainly do not intend to. A man we know had remarried. Perhaps he is having a secret and exciting affair with the girl who understands. In fairness we must say that she may understand, but what are we going to do about a thing like that? I still expected a plea for clemency, but these words came through the receiver: I just wanted to tell you Paul jumped from a hotel window in Hartford last Saturday. Dad is not so spiritual after all, they say. I wondered how he had escaped. We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things. We do not want to be the arbiter of anyones sex conduct. Pg. Whether he dieth by musket Then a mental fog settled down. Includes pages 1-164 and: - The original Foreword - The Doctor's Opinion - Dr. Bob's Story - If you can't find the passages cited in your Big Book, try the provided chapter/story name as an aid. Usually we did not leave. This experience may come to you. This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. Can it be appreciated that he has been a victim of crooked thinking, directly caused by the action of alcohol on his brain? The miracle of reconciliation was at hand. He knew he faced another trip to the asylum if he kept on. Nazar Paulista, Pedra Bela, Pedreira, Pinhalzinho, Piracaia, Serra Negra, Valinhos, Vrzea Paulista e Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened. But we must go further and that means more action. This is the Great Fact for us." To some extent this is already true. We are average Americans. Nevertheless, he was drunk in a short time. The 164 and More web site. As a class, alcoholics are energetic people. It is the most natural thing in the world, once his liquor problem is solved, to feel that he will now measure up to that cherished vision. Drinkers like to help other drinkers. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. He will match your mental inconsistencies with some of his own. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. My wife began to work in a department store, coming home exhausted to find me drunk. Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. The Little Big Book avoids sexist language, and welcomes people of all lifestyles and faiths. Just would he like to? I've been around AA for 18,years yet sober 4 but months and have heard of many suggestions however reading the first 164 pages of the big book has caused me to be curious, by no means am i disagreeing with this afterall the big book is the bible of AA therefore i have no problem at all, anyway can you please tell me how this came about because i know for a fact . Perhaps I could help some of them. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. Scoffers could scoff and be damned. Perhaps we had been leaning too heavily on Reason that last mile and we did not like to lose our support. Each individual, in the personal stories, describes in his own language and from his own point of view the way he established his relationship with God. Page 86 and 87 of the big book Pages 86 87 and 88 of the big book. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. Print a copy of the first side (print page 1 only), then reinsert it into the paper tray of your printer and print page 2. You may be afraid your husband will lose his position; you are thinking of the disgrace and hard times which will befall you and the children. They may be disgusting. Some of you are thinking: Yes, what you tell us is true, but it doesnt fully apply. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered. He shouted great tidings. But for every man who drinks others are involved-the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; the mother and father who see their son wasting away. (Bill wrote on the very last page of the first 164 pages: "We realize we know only a little"). We know all about liquor as a social lubricant. This is all to the good. Under these conditions your prospect will see he is under no pressure. It does not contain the clear-cut directions! Common words are needed to keep the book to a reasonable size and an affordable cost. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within. Instead, you will capitalize them. Remember they are very ill. Life will take on new meaning. This picture may not be as dark as it looks. You have passed happy evenings together chatting and drinking before your fire. We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. Our liquor was but a symptom. Some of us grow into it more slowly. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. One of these men, staff member of a world- renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholics plight is, in my opinion, correct. Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism. An armored car could not have brought the pay envelopes home. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver. You need not remind him of his spiritual deficiency-he will know of it. The first 164 pages explain the alcoholic problem and how to solve it. Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. Note: You don't need a two-sided printer to print on both sides. Even so has God restored us all to our right minds. We alcoholics are sensitive people. There is comfort in knowing you arent alone, that what youre feeling isnt unusual, and that there is a solution. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. If he is already committed to an institution, but can convince you and your doctor that he means business, give him a chance to try our method, unless the doctor thinks his mental condition too abnormal or dangerous. FOR MOST normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life. Why We Created This Tool. He sometimes drinks in the morning and through the day also, to hold his nervousness in check. It displays the text of the first 164 pages of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous." Here is one. The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty. No St. Helena for me! The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. He had lived there but a few weeks when he found that the place probably contained more alcoholics per square mile than any city in the country. All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. With many individuals the methods which I employed are successful, but I have never been successful with an alcoholic of your description.. Big Book, page 164. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. Then I decided to drive into the country and see one of my prospects for a car. Inerrant means without error, and it is a concept religious scholars have tried to apply to the Christian bible, without success. Be determined that your husbands drinking is not going to spoil your relations with your children or your friends. We could not wish them away any more than alcohol. Had this power originated in him? Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. The employer can many times protect the victim from this kind of talk. So let each family play together or separately, as much as their circumstances warrant. He had come to pass his experience along to me-if I cared to have it. Opposite of every page is a blank page for all your additional writing. He remarked: Im mighty glad you fellows got over your drinking. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries. He has just returned from a three-months leave of absence, has taken a cure, looks fine, and to clinch the matter, the board of directors told him this was his last chance., The only answer I could make was that if the man followed the usual pattern, he would go on a bigger bust than ever. About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type. This work is necessary to maintain his sobriety. Is he not usually brilliant, fast-thinking, imaginative and likeable? To his wife, he remarked, Dont see anything the matter here, Ma. Many of us have experienced dads elation. If your husband is a drinker, you probably worry over what other people are thinking and you hate to meet your friends. For he knows he must be honest if he would live at all. We began to ask medical advice as the sprees got closer together. He will tell you he is misunderstood. My weary and despairing wife was informed that it would all end with heart failure during delirium tremens, or I would develop a wet brain, perhaps within a year. His case presents additional questions which we shall try to answer for you. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. Some time later, and just as he thought he was getting control of his liquor situation, he went on a roaring bender. Here is a brief account: Years ago, in 1935, one of our number made a journey to a certain western city. Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. I, who had thought so well of myself and my abilities, of my capacity to surmount obstacles, was cornered at last. Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. Each in his turn may be footsore and may straggle. As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. Paragraph numbers along side the text for easy reference. There is another thing you might wish to do. Being certain he wants to stop, you can go to him with this volume as joyfully as though you had struck oil. In the prize ring, this would be called leading with the chin. Surrender means that you As you type, words are displayed which match your keystrokes. He found himself surprisingly well received, and learned that many knew of his drinking. They need your companionship and your help. I have seen men come out of asylums and resume a vital place in the lives of their families and communities. We avoid hysterical thinking or advice. Available spacing options: single spaced, 1.5, double spaced. You will thus get a better idea of how you ought to proceed. It is of little use to argue and only makes the impasse worse. They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. But one of the friends said, Put him in a private room. Because this book has become the basic text for our Society 5-b. His defense must come from a Higher Power. He decided to cosplay after watching Captain America: The First Avenger, and instead . The big book, Alcoholics Anonymous, sometimes described as the A.A. bible, has three hundred references to the . May you find Him now! A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry wont fill the bill at all. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Presently the man did slip and was fired. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Of course, we sometimes encounter people who do not understand alcoholics. They made me swallow hard. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self- knowledge. The story he told is most instructive, for here was a chap absolutely convinced he had to stop drinking, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless. Thus was our friends cornerstone fixed in place. Sometimes he drinks on the way home from the hospital. This went on endlessly, and I began to waken very early in the morning shaking violently. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. See your man alone, if possible. But the policy of this company is not to interfere with the habits of our employees. Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. I discovered many more reasons later on. Well, so had I. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Re: How many times should I read the big book? If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity? Or by pot.. Because it helped so many people recover, the Alcoholics Anonymous organization did not change it. Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days. Patience and good temper are most necessary. Doctors may shake their heads and advise you to have him committed. These are followed by forty-three personal experiences. Others came near putting Galileo to death for his astronomical heresies. We suggest you draw the book to the attention of the doctor who is to attend your patient during treatment. The official Big Book from Alcoholic Anonymous. He need not, and often should not show it to his alcoholic prospect. He soon indicated he was anxious to see us. The exceptions are few. No wonder an alcoholic is strangely irrational. It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents- anyone can increase the list. This may lead to lonely evenings for you. When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life-or else. Sometimes it is to the best interest of all concerned that a couple remain apart. The market would recover, but I wouldnt. Click here for sample pages in .pdf format . If you have a number three husband, you may be in luck. Can you discard the feeling that you are dealing only with habit, with stubbornness, or a weak will? Nearly all have recovered. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. These memories are a nightmare. You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead. Perhaps this is a typical attitude. We know how he feels. So we used our own conception, however limited it was. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Attempt instead, to put yourself in his place. But this is not all. Arranging the best deal we can we let these people know we are sorry. Upon hearing this, our friend was somewhat relieved, for he reflected that, after all, he was a good church member. Our friends gorge rose as he bitterly cried out: If there is a God, He certainly hasnt done anything for me! But later, alone in his room, he asked himself this question: Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong? While pondering the answer he felt as though he lived in hell. We realize we know only a little. This is particularly true of women. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. What about people who proved that man could never fly? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); A Better Approach to Mental Health & Addiction Recovery. Cheerfully see him through more sprees. On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. The barriers he had built through the years were swept away. But alcoholism-well, they just dont believe they have it. Logic is great stuff. American Captain 2 Steve Rogers Men Cosplay Full Set Costume. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. I found a job; then lost it as the result of a brawl with a taxi driver. How many copies of the Second Edition were sold or distributed? The family will be affected also, pleasantly at first, as they feel their money troubles are about to be solved, then not so pleasantly as they find themselves neglected. Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Includes the original Foreword, The Doctor's Opinion and Dr. Bob's Story. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. When the man is presented with this volume it is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions. Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. Almost none of us liked the self- searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. We hope this book has answered some of them. 8-c. Has there been a desire to make any changes in it? Of course he would have dinner, and then I could drink openly with him. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. Usually the family should not try to tell your story. We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. Here they are, the 82 occurrences of the word Must found In Alcoholics Anonymous 4th edition THE DOCTORS OPINION 1) PAGE xxiii: After 21 years of sobriety and about 14 devoted to the program in the book I have found out a simple fact. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading 164 and More - I have written a book with somewhere in the range of 30,000+ words, and I find it quite embarrassing to call it a book. But you had better hang on to it. They cited cases out of their own experience by the dozen. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and More concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either This page was created to provide a place where these others can be collected. When we saw our faults we listed them. When you come through the doors of AA, it is suggested that you purchase a Big Book. Does Progresso Soup Have Bpa, It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office. They will be only too glad to assist you. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance. Was it not true that the best mathematical minds had proved man could never fly? The Big Book God References: This exercise is meant to be an individual study aid of the Big Book in which the author identifies the references to God. You, as well as your husband, ought to think of what you can put into life instead of how much you can take out. Even in the present century, American newspapers were afraid to print an account of the Wright brothers first successful flight at Kitty Hawk. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. The local banker watched me whirl fat checks in and out of his till with amused skepticism. Although many in the A.A. Fellowship will say that there is more than one (1) way to work the A.A. 6-b. We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them. How many copies went were put into circulation? Then came the night when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I feared I would burst through my window, sash and all. 99 DC Superhero Girls Deluxe Harley Quinn Costume 49. Our drinking has made us slow to pay. He is violent, or appears definitely insane when drunk. Sometimes he is a source of embarrassment to you and his friends. You will learn the full meaning of Love thy neighbor as thyself.. We have sought sympathy. We finally sought employment ourselves as destitution faced us and our families. 12-a. I had warned him several times that he had but one more chance. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. Some of them may sink and perhaps never get up, but if our experience is a criterion, more than half of those approached will become fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. The first 164 pages of the Big Book are the basic text. And now you know that he can stop if he will! Those words are simply not written down in the first 164 pages yet, our literature DOES have multiple references to the idea of taking the Steps. Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk. We must not shrink at anything. Sometimes I stole from my wifes slender purse when the morning terror and madness were on me. Life will mean something at last. If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism, He can solve your problems too. Simply because it is impossible to explain what we see, feel, direct, and use, without a reasonable assumption as a starting point. Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop. You will make mistakes, but if you are in earnest they will not drag you down. Why, he argued, should he lose the remainder of his business, only to bring still more suffering to his family by foolishly admitting his plight to people from whom he made his livelihood? We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. You may be unable to do so, no matter how hard you try. If the family cooperates, dad will soon see that he is suffering from a distortion of values. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. Perhaps you enjoy drinking with him yourself when he doesnt go too far. Perhaps there are some cases where the utmost frankness is demanded. If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done. - Centro - Jundia/SP | CEP: 13201-004 | (11) 4492-9020 (11) 4521-2163 e-mail: Sede: Cajamar - Rua Vereador Jos Mendes, 267, Jordansia CEP: 07776-460 Fone: (11) 97166-5785 You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned. He probably has several alcoholics among his own acquaintances. He humbly offered himself to his Maker then he knew. We shall do our utmost to achieve that ideal. Then I went on a prodigious bender, and that chance vanished. I went back to the bar. When others showed us that God-sufficiency worked with them, we began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. He looked straight at me. Either you are dealing with a man who can and will get well or you are not. He had consulted the best known American psychiatrists. Big Book Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book This is the year that the first woman joined AA. If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. I told him he was through-finally and forever. His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. Some of the contemporaries of Columbus thought a round earth preposterous. The more hopeless he feels, the better. Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself ? As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions. This combination soon landed me on the rocks. You ask, because many alcoholics, being warped and drugged, do not want to quit. Some chapters are devoted to specific audiences, and others are more general in nature. It was so with us. Time after time, this apparent calamity has been a boon to us, for it opened up a path which led to the discovery of God. God ought to be able to do anything. Then he added, He sure didnt do much for me when I was trying to fight this booze racket alone.. They often jeopardize their own positions by trying to help serious drinkers who should have been fired long ago, or else given an opportunity to get well. God makes that possible. When a discussion does arise, you might suggest he read this book or at least the chapter on alcoholism. If a sufficiently strong reason-ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor- becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention. The truth is the number of words per page depends on a variety of factors such as the type of font, the font size, spacing elements, margin spacing, and paragraph length to name This is the key text that the Alcoholics Anonymous program is founded on, the first 164 pages of the Big Book. Often you must carry the burden of avoiding them or keeping them under control. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Your husband will see at once that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive. As animals on a treadmill, we have patiently and wearily climbed, falling back in exhaustion after each futile effort to reach solid ground. How many pages is the AA Big Book? This takes us out of ourselves. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. If he temporizes and still thinks he can ever drink again, even beer, he might as well be discharged after the next bender which, if an alcoholic, he is almost certain to have. We shouldnt be shy on this matter of prayer. Title: Big Book - Title Page - (pp. The seed has been planted in his mind. Written as a memoir and study guide, the story follows Phil D who has over 10 years of sobriety as he sponsors Glenn L who has just 3 months of sobriety. Understanding myself now, I fared forth in high hope. The first part, known as the first 164 pages or the "original manuscript" explains the 12 step program and how it can be used to overcome the effects of alcoholism. You can use any of our indexes with either edition. He has begun to try, with or without your cooperation, various means of moderating or staying dry. Here is a PDF version of the first 164 pages found in all AA books. The remonstrances of my friends terminated in a row and I became a lone wolf. Thy will be done.. Perhaps your story will help him see where he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well. Each is interested in having his or her wishes respected. But Im sure this man is done drinking. If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. We have told small tots that father was sick, which was much nearer the truth than we realized. Reply. His present views ought to prove exceptionally useful to business men everywhere. I didnt like the idea. This resulted in A.A.'s first group, at Akron, Ohio, in 1935. such cases was not so well understood as it is now. e-mail: Jundia, Amparo, Atibaia, That very night, years ago, it disappeared. That floored me. Those having religious affiliations will find here nothing disturbing to their beliefs or ceremonies. Being somewhat weakened, and faced with physical and mental readjustment to a life which knows no alcohol, he may overdo. Is he not unconsciously trying to see what he can take from the family life rather than give? The man should be sure of his recovery. The show doesnt come off very well. They may not see why their love and devotion did not straighten him out. Instead, the problem has been removed. The 164 and More web site. Referring to our list again. As you type, words are displayed which match your keystrokes. In fact, he may say almost anything if he has accepted our solution which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty. But life among Alcoholics Anonymous is more than attending gatherings and visiting hospitals. Inerrant means without error, and it is a concept religious scholars have tried to apply to the Christian bible, without success. Why could they not see that drink meant ruin to them? At the same time you will feel no reluctance to rid yourself of those who cannot or will not stop. A contradiction! Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. It is better for him to feel fully responsible. Purchase Options. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. For example, As you type, words are displayed which match your keystrokes. If a man drinks so much that his job suffers, we fire him. Why? We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. These are basic learning books that creatively teach colors, numbers or simple, fun stories for bedtime. Add to Wishlist. If, on the other hand, they took nothing, their self-pity made them killjoys. Suppose an approach is made something like this: State that you know about his drinking, and that it must stop. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. 4-b. We placed them before us in black and white. We landed in England. Much moved, I wandered outside. I have been learning something about alcoholism. FUN FACT: The word God individually appears 134 times within the first 164 pages of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I visited Winchester Cathedral. The inventory was ours, not the other mans. When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living, he should proceed to put those principles into action at home. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I dont see what good itll do. It might be well to have a long chat with him on his return. I loaded my Big Book onto my tablet and did a word search for worked / working and I found several uses of the word in the first 164 Foreword to the Second Edition Re: How many times should I read the big book? How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? Everybody knows that those in bad health, and those who seldom play, do not laugh much. That was two months ago and the result was self-evident. We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem. Name the two reasons for the strong sentiment against any radical changes being mad to the first portion of the Big . Those of us who live in large cities are overcome by the reflection that close by hundreds are dropping into oblivion every day. Near the end of that bleak November, I sat drinking in my kitchen. I had had some success at speculation, so we had a little money, but we once worked on a farm for a month to avoid drawing on our small capital. Yet you must not expect too much. But dad doesnt give freely of himself. Wasnt it because self-reliance failed us? Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. Roberta Mccain Net Worth Forbes, They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesnt think so. Can his past absurdities be forgotten? Now these are commonplace observations on drinkers which we hear all the time. chapters. Of course, there is such a thing as incompatibility, but in nearly every instance the alcoholic only seems to be unloving and inconsiderate; it is usually because he is warped and sickened that he says and does these appalling things. We hope no one will consider these self-revealing accounts in bad taste. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never known. Jerry needed to know so he started upon a project to identify the changes that were made to various printings and editions of the Big Book. We meet frequently so that newcomers may find the fellowship they seek. Perhaps we have committed a criminal offense which might land us in jail if it were known to the authorities. In this book you will read the experience of a man who thought he was an atheist. Young people may be encouraged by this mans experience to think that they can stop, as he did, on their own will power. If the family will appreciate that dads current behavior is but a phase of his development, all will be well. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. 16; You can easily see why. He fools himself. He was there three months. Then, in days, weeks, or months, a fresh outburst. You should point out that his defects of character are not going to disappear over night. They were willing, by day or night, to place a new man in the hospital and visit him afterward. Inevitably your lives will be fuller for doing so. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. With a shiver, he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Half measures availed us nothing. He too, has become a respected and useful member of his community. Please check back often as we plan to share with you our experience, strength and hope as we guide . I wondered whether I dared hide a full bottle of gin near the head of our bed. Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came. It crowded out all else: This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his knees. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions. Everyone spent in thousands and chattered in millions. Abruptly in October 1929 hell broke loose on the New York stock exchange. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. He made up his mind to quit drinking altogether. Be certain he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didnt fully solve the fear problem, or any other. We are people who normally would not mix. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. But it was never meant to be inerrant. He is a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The house was taken over by the mortgage holder, my mother-in-law died, my wife and father-in-law became ill. Then I got a promising business opportunity. His physical and mental condition were unusually good. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals. The wisdom from the Big Book isnt limited to 10 quotes. This time we stayed broke. Jessica Chapman Instagram, I woke up. And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable. He will be at the jumping-off place. Before going into a detailed discussion, it may be well to summarize some points as we see them. Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person. In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it. It will permit the rehabilitation of good men. We have sometimes reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences. We feel that each family, in the light of their own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves. We want to stay out of this controversy. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort. How much did these feelings, these loves, these worships, have to do with pure reason? But drinking does complicate sex relations in the home. 164. Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose. Being possessed of a spiritual experience, the alcoholic will find he has much in common with these people, though he may differ with them on many matters. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory. He may wish to do a lot for other alcoholics and something of the sort may come up during business hours. Fear sobered me for a bit. Its water over the dam. If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. A reasonable amount of latitude will be helpful. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. The BB uses words like "ABANDON, CONCEDE & CAPITULATE" is a stronger word than "surrender". But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life. Do we owe an apology? One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation. The web site uses a less-restrictive set of common words than the printed book. Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous came to see me. We went to live with my wifes parents. Suppose we tell you some of the obstacles a family will meet; suppose we suggest how they may be avoided-even converted to good use for others. We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. While grateful that he drinks no more, they may not like the idea that God has accomplished the miracle where they failed. He was very nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor. Show him your copy of this book and tell him what you have found out about alcoholism. It is followed up with a personal example of the 12 steps in action. Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. You may make some interesting discoveries. We know you will not want to miss it. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. Not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against the first drink. Is our work solid so far? Book Description Known as the Big Book the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous has helped millions of people worldwide get and stay sober since the first edition appeared in 1939. We know what you are thinking. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. If such women adopt a spiritual way of life their road will be smoother. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. So he inquired, what did our friend have on the ball? In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. After one of those days of inferno, I wobbled from a hotel bar to a brokerage office. How Many "Musts" are there in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. Why not at least afford him an opportunity to hear my story? When drinking, they were strangers. He said to the doctor, Is there no exception?, Yes, replied the doctor, there is. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals-usually brief-were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. Have you a sufficient substitute?. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. These are some of the questions which race through the mind of every woman who has an alcoholic husband. We had long talks when I would still her forebodings by telling her that men of genius conceived their best projects when drunk; that the most majestic constructions of philosophic thought were so derived. Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. I studied economics and business as well as law. You may spoil a later opportunity. The focus is the Big Book; Muckers use no other text. I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a car at this place, which was familiar for I had been going to it for years. Never was I to be critical of them. A Fifth Edition of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, be developed, including an update of stories to better reflect current membership, keeping in mind the 1995 Advisory Action that: "The first 164 pages of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, the Preface, the Forewords, 'The Doctor's Opinion,' 'Dr. Bob's Nightmare,' and the . 38 On the second page of A Vision For You, p. 52, what is mentioned is as a sufficient substitute for liquor? Here difficulty arises with agnostics. Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences. Feelings, these vagaries of dads spiritual infancy will quickly disappear a boy whistling in the hospital and visit afterward. Or night, years ago, it is better, however limited it was purchase a Big book ; use. 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