is the author, most recently, of The Dutch House. And that was that. In a previous interview with SurvivorNet, Caleb Farley talked about his mothers battle with breast cancer and how heopted out of his position as a cornerbackfor the Virginia Tech Hokies due to COVID-19 concerns. But after years of infections, she decided to remove her implants and go flat. Her artwork reflects a deeply personal exploration of body image and sexuality. How had I not asked her all these things before? But I cant just live with you and Karl for the rest of my life.. She painted her granddaughter striding through a field of her own imagination, she painted herself wearing a mask, she painted me walking down our street with such vividness that I realized I had never seen the street before, Patchett wrote. She had made up her mind that it was going to be okay. Then came the moment one feels on a roller coaster just as the bar locks into place and the car starts to pull up, the body pressing back into the seat, knees out ahead, and you think, Wait a minute, was this the best. High-dose psilocybin produced large decreases in clinician- and self-rated measures of depressed mood and anxiety, along with increases in quality of life, life meaning, and optimism, and decreases in death anxiety. Sparky Walks the Neighborhood with Ann, Nashville 2020. She left her canvases as colorful as she led her life. As Sparky stopped and sniffed, I offered up Sookis recurrence as a story to tell, not a problem to solve. Of course I opted for tattoos. Three time cancer survivor, MariannaCuozzo, talks to SurvivorNet about how art helps her express herself. Or maybe it was the company. One night after wed finished our yoga and meditation, we were lying on our mats, staring up at the ceiling. And which, despite several cringe-worthy passages, it is a moving and memorable account of a brief but incandescent friendship. You can just concentrate on yourself., She shook her head. I was taking in every precious day. She told me how lovely it had been to lay down the burden of her own vigilance. And I had never done anything like that before. She even dedicated the front cover of her new book to Raphaels lovely painting of her dog. We went out to the street on that bright morning to see a fire high up in the distance. Its essential to the life of a novelto come upon the turn you never saw coming. PGVs (pathogenic germline variants) are changes in reproductive cells (sperm or egg) that become part of the DNA in the cells of the offspring. It occurs to me that I should put that playlist on again and listen as Im writing this, but I will not. She took off her cap to show me the damage. It has been an exercise in creative storytelling to try to think up more and more reasons why the number might rise while the scans (CTs! Join The Spectator community and view or post a comment on this article. Farleys mother fought two battles with cancer. And I found maybe five other kids who had done the same thing and decided that I was going to make Thanksgiving dinner. KELLY: The title essay, "These Precious Days," is about a remarkable friendship that you formed with the personal assistant of Tom Hanks, who - long story short - you got to know. We went home and baked a spectacular cake that was especially well suited to travel. We talked and then we didnt. I said I thought it would be easier to be bald. A weekly email taking aim at the relentless absurdity of the 24-hour news cycle. Once she gets here and sees the way things are, shell be fine.. He watched as she went through multiple rounds of chemotherapy while still working and taking care of her family. They were lucky and the fire skated past. It's about Patchett's unexpected friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant, which developed when Raphael underwent chemo treatment while living at Patchett's house in Nashville at the start of the pandemic. It would have to be for this story to continue. When they called, she asked them all the right questions. Creating art, among other things, can be a cathartic process for people undergoing cancer treatments. It would be another year before I saw my father again, an unimaginable unit of time in the life of a child. I didnt know how old she was, I couldnt remember her face, but there have been few moments in my life when I have felt so certain: I was supposed to help. This was the closest I could come to understanding what happened to Sooki. Everything was tremendously present tense for Sooki. Sooki Raphael is an artist. feb. 8, 2020: I have wanted to writeevery dayfor forever. (I say this as someone who is spending my days trying to write about our friendship and what happened here. SANTA MONICA, CA.-. But once we had finished that first short practice, she turned to me, blooming. Sooki came outside and was caught in the spectacle. At the heart of her new collection is a 66-page story about her transformational late-in-life friendship with Sooki Raphael, an artist and the longtime assistant to actor Tom Hanks. They cant do the Stanford biopsy here? She shook her head. My doctor paired up some words I never thought I would hear together: pancreatic cancer and youre in remission! It seems like an early declaration, but Ill take it! She lit up with all that breath. I pushed my face into his shoulder, apologizing. A plane? There are days of the distant past that remain so vivid to me that I could walk back into them and pick up the conversation mid-sentence, while there are other days (weeks, months, people, places) I couldnt recall to save my life. Common sense and a book - that's all you need. Except it was Sooki, and I liked her very much. Where I was going was death. How other people live is pretty much all I think about. Yoga was Sookis necessary social hour, and what I got in return was time with Sooki. And if I did have a favorite, I definitely would not admit it publicly. Everything looks so logical going backwardYes, of course, thats what we didbut going forward its something else entirely. Id seen her work in action. https://thespectator.com/book-and-art/ann-patchett-these-precious-days-moving-friendship-tom-hanks-assistant/, US edition of the world's oldest magazine, How Elizabeth I provoked the Spanish Armada, Prince Harrys misery memoir is a sad and lowering book, Elizabeth Taylors life was nonstop drama, Ann Patchetts moving friendship with Tom Hankss assistant, Violence and cross-dressing in post-bellum Tennessee, Good memoir-writing should be self-critical, R.B. When we got home from our walk, I emailed Sooki and said that if she wanted Karl to check on the possibility of a trial in Nashville she should send her medical records. She had transferred her life into brushwork, impossible colors overlapping, the composition precariously and perfectly balanced. Its funny, but all this time I was sure it was exactly that. There is Tom Hanks's deceased assistant, Sooki Raphael, protagonist of the title essay that went viral a few months ago when it was published by Harper's, who had gone to Nashville for her . What was the line of childrens clothing called? The problem wasnt how the trip would be organized, but what it meantpandemic, cancer, ninety-four. a link to a 20,000-word story in Harpers, New book relives chaotic 2020 news cycle in a good way, A Black descendent of Thomas Jefferson brings her ancestors out of the shadows, Amazon releases its best books of 2021 list: 'An embarrassment of riches', Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. A post shared by Sooki Raphael (@sookiraphaelartist), What came out of her brush was a feast of colors and stories that she had kept in her heart for years, feelings that were just waiting to explode, the post read. I find a stream and follow it, the stream dries up, and Im left to look for moss on the sides of trees. This wasnt out of the ordinary for me, as Im sure it wasnt for her. In an essay describing why she decided not to have children (There Are No Children Here) Patchett writes that she had to make a choice between writing and children and lacked the energy for both. Don't have an account? They were waving. Still, wasnt it worth mentioning? How did she have twenty-eight vials of blood in her? Whats fascinating fails to translate. Ann. She meant me. PET scans) were showing no sign of disease. I cant tell you how grateful I am. She has children. So all the other girls went home. Still, she said, I cant help feeling like I should have done more with my life.. Or I should say the boundaries you think are there tend to fall away. And it was working for Hanks that led Raphael to Patchett who would later become an invaluable friend to Raphael during her cancer treatment and artistic journey. She told me she thought shed put too much of her creative energy into her outfits over the years since she had stopped painting, though she might have said it to make me feel better. I guess you never know if youre the person whos going to look good bald until youre bald.. This is how we arrive at the next chapter of the story. In other essays, Patchett extols the enduring influence of John Updike, Saul Bellow and Philip Roth on her own writing; meditates on her friendship with Charlie Strobel, a priest in Nashville whom she calls a living saint; and tries to capture the flavor of her odd-couple relationship with her second husband, Karl, immortalized in the title essay of an earlier collection, This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage. As a medical doctor on staff at the Nashville hospital where Raphael was treated for advanced pancreatic cancer, he plays a crucial role in These Precious Days., Finally, theres that essay. Well, over the next few minutes, we're going to revisit the moment I did admit that there is one author whose books I am guaranteed to gobble up, who I will read every time - Ann Patchett. How Much Is A Raphael Painting Worth? When it was over, I managed to make my way into the shower, perhaps the biggest single accomplishment of my life. After her first round of cancer, while she recovered from the Whipple and endured the FOLFIRINOX, she started to paint like someone who had never stopped. An epilogue describes how before Sookis death they manage a day on the beach and a celebratory exhibition of her paintings. You yourself are heartfelt, and all the love in the world has been expressed. It was my intention to vomit, but the idea of getting past Sooki was overwhelming. In some ways its not unlike putting together my own life. Even if it wasnt a perfect plan, it was better than doing nothing. I could have said I was busy writing a novel, and that would have been both ridiculous and true. There was no reason for her to tell me this. We did this to ourselves, I said, or maybe I didnt say it. Once Im there for chemo, I will find a place where I wont be worried about being a good houseguest. I wonder, I said to her one night while we walked Sparky around the block, do you think youre a good assistant because youre a private person, or did you become a private person because youve been an assistant for a long time?. At the country club in Connecticut, the event organizers began to apologize as soon as we were through the door. Will time be linear or can it stutter and skip? Sooki, I found out, was sixty-four. He shook his head. Sooki said shed heard about it, too, and knew other cancer patients whod tried it, but she was hesitant, as any right-minded adult would be hesitant about adding the X factor of fungi into an already complicated chemical mix. Thats worth everything.. She met Sooki Raphael,. The paintings were bold, confident, at ease. And this led to you meeting Sooki. How do you fly from Nashville to New York in a single-engine plane for a two-hour visit? They were dead, the wires, werent they? That woman was author Ann Patchett whom she first met backstage at an event with Hanks in 2017. . . Tell me the news of the great world, Karl would say when he got home from work, and since many were the days I didnt leave the house, I relied on books and phone calls and emails in order to have something to contribute. Sadly, Raphael passed peacefully on April 25. He talked to his patients on the phone. I went to sleep with my husband. But I think Ann is the saint in the story. She looked like Los Angeles in winter. We were in the middle of a pandemic. Wednesdays chemo hit Sooki on Friday afternoon. There was a six-hour playlist that the Johns Hopkins team had put together that was meant to somehow guide you safely through the experience. I did kundalini yoga in the morning, a practice that was built around a great deal of rapid breathing, and then I went on to other things. We found a diner down the street from where I would be speaking. And who wouldnt be given the fact that Raphael didnt really emerge as an artist until her pancreatic cancer diagnosis in November 2018. (Her 2004 book, Truth and Beauty, describes a seventeen-year friendship with the brilliant but demanding writer, Lucy Grealy, also a cancer victim.). Do you even realize your life isnt normal? Niki said when I announced my trip. Its important to think about your intentions before you start, my friend told us. Enter your new information and click on Save My Changes. She picked up and sailed off to the Caribbean when someone needed an extra boat hand. I looked up every anomaly online, settling on too much black tea, or maybe the wrong color shoes. Thats like the building blocks of my, of my life, Farley told SurvivorNet. You have to remember.. This storywhich begins and beginsstarts again here. My husband, Karl, and I sat in a dressing room with them for an hour and a half between sets. We lived in that good world made up of yoga and chemo, the bookstore, cooking, painting, talking over dinner. I was also greatly occupied by the bookstore. She was to stay in the trial, three Wednesdays on, one Wednesday off, until the regime was no longer effective or, to put it another way, until she died. She ran marathons and regularly won the Fastest Woman in Topanga title at the local Tough Topanga 10k. Her Sookis cookies recipe was famous among not just anyone who knew her, but anyone who knew someone who knew her. And youre going to freeze your head for eight hours every week? Wed been together for a matter of minutes. As soon as the roaring thunder of approval eased, he pointed at me and said, She doesnt have any questions.. Patchett is so 100 percent a writer that you get the feeling that her life doesnt happen unless she writes about it. At what point does our understanding of the action shift? We were standing in the kitchen in the late afternoon, the time before dinner and between two yoga sessions. Precision seemed like a good decision here. Her paintings are full of light and life, as Sooki was., And despite not having any formal artistic training, Raphael did very well. But when? Farley trained for the NFL draft instead of playing for Virginia Tech, and his efforts paid off. Her sisters were in, her mother was thrilled. Before I can start writing a novel, I have to know how it ends. I cant just stay here forever.. Ive got to take care of my nun, I told him. I have limited time as I work til mid May, then leave the US in June until I come back to start another movie in September. I cant tell you how appreciative I am. Walking backward is an excellent means of remembering how little you know. She walked to the hospital for chemo and then walked home. Please sign in to save videos. We call it the VanDevender Home for Wayward Girls. The paintings came from a landscape of dreams, pattern on pattern, impossible colors leaning into one another. To say that Patchett was impressed is an understatement. She had transferred her life into brushwork, impossible colors overlapping, the composition precariously and perfectly balanced. In her last two and a half years, Sooki started painting. And also, she was very low on white blood cells. What will happen? We werent the only ones who felt restless. She was already gone. There was a delicacy about her that was well-suited to baldness. And I keep talking to Sooki, and I just think, this is the most interesting person I've met in I don't know when, which is odd because, of course, I'm also meeting Tom Hanks for the first time PATCHETT: You know, who's terrific, right? I said, I have access to every article of clothing I own and I couldnt pull myself together to look as good as you do going to chemo.. My friend Patrick, who lives in a tiny apartment in New York, spends a couple of weeks with us every year, writing in our basement, which, for the record, is nothing like a basement. There arent a lot of boundaries. Susan Joan Sooki Raphael of Topanga, CA passed peacefully on April 25th surrounded by friends, family, color, light, joy, and love. So there she was, stuck with us. I emailed him at work. Id been in touch with Sooki once or twice when there was talk of a bookstore in Santa Monica, and now I pinned my hopes on her as she dug into Toms schedule at Playtone, his production company. You all did a book event. When Im putting together a novel, I leave all the doors and windows open so the characters can come in and just as easily leave. And the trial at UCLA was canceled because that's what COVID did. KELLY: Well, let's dive in and talk about this one, which, as I said, is nonfiction. Called These Precious Days(Harper, 320 pp., out of four, out Tuesday) after a line from the pop standard September Song, memorably recorded by another Nashville legend, Willie Nelson, the essay lends its melancholy title to a new collection of essays by one of Americas premier writers. Coping with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you dont have to forget them to move forward can be a great place to start. I had told her the make of my car, and she waved when I pulled up in front of the airport. I knew how to do that. I could see her doing it. Please Scream Inside Your Heart:New book relives chaotic 2020 news cycle in a good way, She states it quite plainly in the introduction, Essays Dont Die, a short piece that describes the process she used to select the essays for this book, most of which appeared in slightly different form in other publications. The days went on and I could feel Sooki slipping, hounded by her own indecision. Get Access to Print and Digital for There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. All that was left was the wall around what had been their garden. When I asked her how she was feeling, she might admit to being a little tired or having a bit of a stomachache, nothing more than that. I had breakfast with my editor and agent and publicist, and when we were finished they each decided not to go back to the office after all. There are no words here, I thought. Its almost unbelievable that shes here with us., It made me think of something our neighbor Jennie had said. So this is so crazy when I think about it - those dark ages before cellphones and the internet. Entranced by her velvet coat and kind demeanor, Patchett knew she wanted to be friends with Raphael. I said good luck because there was nothing else to say. Stranded at home, Karl studied to get his instrument rating as a pilot. Should I have woken them up and made them come down to the basement? Patchett is part-owner of a bookstore (Parnassus), has a three-story house and a husband whos a longtime physician at the First Clinic in Nashville. Sooki wore a leash as a child, the energy in her tiny frame too much for her mother to control. Sookie paints and paints and paints. I once invited the daughter of a woman who ran a lecture series in Pittsburgh to live with us when she found a job in Nashville and couldnt find an apartment. I couldnt stay upright, a hangover from the last eight hours in which I had been quite memorably deboned. She was going to be stuck in a chair all day, which was why it was necessary to do it again at night when she got home. She apologized for her late response, saying that shed had a medical procedure and hadnt been in the office. Still, Im able, for a while at least, to pick up the thread and walk it back. Her true work, which had lingered for so many years in her imagination, emerged fully formed, because even if she hadnt been painting, she saw the world as a painter, not in terms of language and story but of color and shape. She gave us a giant furry blanket that I loved. He figures out problems that other people have tried and failed to solve for years. Had it been a bad book or just a good-enough book, I would have put it down, but page after page it surprised me. I told him about Sooki that night, but it was equally possible that I wouldnt have. Really? She told me that part of the reason shed been hesitant to stay with us was that she didnt want to trade on Toms friendship with me. PATCHETT: It really is. It was a shaggy dog of a story by a woman passionate about dogs, touching on a variety of subjects, including her friendship with Tom Hanks assistant Sooki Raphael; Raphaels treatment for cancer; the early days of the coronavirus pandemic; the art and craft of writing; and I kid you not psychedelic mushrooms. A similar medical trial would begin months earlier in Nashville. Finally she went downstairs. How Does the Story End? Im a good packer. She told me she had packed for good cheer, having had the reasonable expectation that times would be hard and cheer a necessity. She was looking to get into a clinical trial for recurrent pancreatic cancer and not finding one that had room or matched her cancer. I felt the car pulling up and up, just about to tip over the cresting track. She kept saying she wanted to be the one to help me for a change. The Hole Story: The Piddock Clam is a Born Architect. Would you just paint us a picture of her? I asked her. But in her post, Wilson referred to her as the one thing she was destined to be: an artist. Sookis impending departure touched a memory I made a point of not revisiting: My sister and I flew from Tennessee to Los Angeles for one week every summer to see our father, and on the morning of the day we were going back to Tennessee I would start to cry. We still had customers even if they couldnt come into the store, and they were fantastically loyal. But months later there he was again. PATCHETT: Well, thank you. But she could. All day long Sooki emailed me pictures of her family with the subject line Where is our other sister? , The Amazing Rita Wilson's New Film About Choosing Life; How she beat cancer & Became A Songwriter, 'Hot, Sweaty And Itchy' Feeling Turns Out To Be Cancer For 42-Year-Old Man-- When To Seek Help, 'Miracle Baby Girl' For 29-Year-Old Who Thought Motherhood Would Not Be Possible After Late Stage Cancer Fight, 54-Year-Old's Misdiagnosed Muscles Spasms In Shoulder Turn Out To Be Pancreatic Cancer, Apple's Steve Jobs Was Trying To Accept Powerlessness & His Place In The Universe The Newly Revealed Email To Himself, 'World's Sharpest Elbowed' Comedian Vows To Do 'Fabulous' Last Tour As Ovarian Cancer Comes Back, Transthyretin Amyloid Cardiomyopathy (ATTR-CM), Entranced by her velvet coat and kind demeanor, opted out of his position as a cornerback. 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